


Different Bloods

by bakerstreetchick22



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cute Loki, Enchantment, Explicit Sex, F/M, Fingerfucking, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jötunheimr | Jotunheim, Loki Angst, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Loki being sexy, Loki smut, Magic, Older Loki, Passionate Sex, Porn With Plot, Romance, Romantic Loki, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Teenage Rebellion, Warning may contain fluff, plot with eventual smut, teenage angst, uncle loki, violent Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-06-10 11:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6953995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakerstreetchick22/pseuds/bakerstreetchick22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the adopted daughter of Thor and Jane, I was required to live in Asgard. Cursed with the gift of dark magic, I was an outcast within the court that I was forced to be apart of. Engulfed with questions about myself and my magic, I felt as though there was no one who could understand me. Then I met him, in the forest on a snowy night while I was trying running away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Raven

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first real attempt at writing anything smutty or romantic. I just had this story in my head and wanted to get it out. Any feedback or review is appreciated!

It all started on a chilly winter night in Asgard. I was running through the court garden, my golden hair dancing behind me in the pale starlight. No one was out in this area of the icy garden except a lonely raven circling far above me. I had just escaped from my room by practicing some of my forbidden magic skills. Thor and Jane wouldn't notice that I was missing…

Jane was always so busy with her own children, and Thor, well he was too busy drinking. I knew he would be out all night gulping mead with his friends. The banquet five days from now celebrating Uncle Loki's return to the family was making things even more stressful than usual. Since Odin had announced it two weeks ago, Jane and Thor had been fighting day and night. Thor was cautiously in favor, but Jane was very much opposed. My Uncle had always been a hushed subject. I couldn't even have told you what he looked like, but I was insanely curious about him, even if it was just because Jane despised him. It didn't take much eves-dropping to gleam that. A small smirk crossed my lips as I thought of how she would kill me for being so inquisitive.

Softly, I slipped along the towering hedges, careful not to take any of the paths lest I be spotted. My heart skipped a beat as I saw the peaks of the trees over the garden wall. I had wanted to go to the taverns in the forest behind the court for as long as I could remember. I could meet someone. I could fall in love and make love. I could do whatever I wanted, and be whoever I wanted. I felt like I was going crazy inside the palace, longing to be free. Now that I was actually going, it felt surreal. The closer and and closer I got to the wall the happier I felt. Finally, in the chill of the snow, I reached the last barrier between me and the outside world.

I knew I had no hope of climbing it, especially now that the frost had covered Asgard with ice. There was only one way out of here. I took a deep breath, and tried to remember what I had read when I snuck into Friga's magic room. This was the moment of truth. I summoned the energy inside my veins out to my finger tips, making my skin tingle. Mimicking an illustration I had seen, I spread my hands out gradually wider. Suddenly, my energy released from within me and branched out from my hands in a silver light, creating a portal to the other side of the wall. Granted it was a shaky, smallish sort of portal, but it didn't need to be perfect. Draw my hood and gathering up my fur cape I slipped through it.

"My, my, silver is so ravishing in a maid… It's such a lethal color."

"What?" I looked around in shock to see the raven that had been circling earlier perched in the tree above me. He looked at me with his big onyx eyes, pondering my hands that still were glowing from the spell.

"What are you, demon?" I spat, hiding my hands in my cape, subtly reaching for my dagger in case it was needed.

The silky bird laughed seductively, "Demon? Hmm from sweetest mouths comes the vilest of language. No maid, I am no demon. I come from a different lineage of hell." He tilted his head to the side and I was struck with how dangerously beautiful he was, with the starlight shining on his inky feathers. The hypnotic gaze he seemed to hold over me was terrifying and bewitching at the same time. Maybe the taverns could wait a while.

"Why have you come to me hell-bird? To take my rebellious little soul?" I smarted with my hands on my hips.

"No," he crooned disinterestedly, "I don't want your soul. I am not in the habit of devouring wayward girls. I am just looking for some entertainment... like you." He tilted his head into what only be described as a smirk.

"What could a bird understand of my actions?" I sneered up at his branch, giving him a dismissing wave of my hand before starting of into the forest again.

"The pleasures of mortal men will never sate you."

His growled words stopped me dead in my tracks. I felt like I would burn a hole into the thick layer of snow beneath my feet, as my face heated up with indignation.

"You would be much better served by your fingers then their shafts, for your hands can do so many things." He whispered behind me.

I couldn't seem to move as my hood hung down over my face. His words pierced me, staking me to where I stood with shame. With a sublet breeze the raven swooped down from his branch and landed in front of me. He was much bigger up close than he seemed up in the tree. The sheer weight of his magical aura was imposing, making the atmosphere darken as it became laced with raw sexual energy.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in a slightly broken voice. My right hand began wring the handle of my dagger nervously under my cap.

"Do you know why they forbid you your magic?"

My head sunk even lower, for my magically abilities had always been something I had been shamed for. "It's for my own protection," I shakily started, "and for everyone else's too, because it is dangerous and it would consume me. It's not normal. I'm not normal."

"Do not confine yourself to normality my sweet maid." The way the word "maid" slipped of his tongue made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. "The darkness touches but a few… And what it claims can never be restrained. You possess a dreadful gift that can never be returned, but it can be opened."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You bleed chaos…" He murmured while spreading his wings in satisfaction. "And I crave it. It seeps out from your very soul. The gods, ha, they fear what they cannot bridle. So fond are they of their trappings and bonds that they would rather see you go mad then go free."

"Are you free?" I asked quietly.

"Free?" The raven laughed with neither joy nor sadness, and looked into my wide blue eyes. "Believe that I am maid." Suddenly, he swooped up in a swirling cloud of feathers and green smoke. Terrified, I drew my blade just to be pounced upon and shoved to the ground by a massive force. The icy snow stung against my thighs as they where crushed against it, while both of my wrist were held above my head in an iron grasp. I tried to scream. I wanted to scream. But as the dark green smoke cleared I found myself looking straight into the most beautiful pair of green eyes I had ever seen. They were so dark and pure, with flecks of gold glowing around the pupils. They shot through me with every heart beat like a virus, gradually making me sicker with every quiver of my breath.

"Tell me maid," the now man hoarsely whispered, "would you like it very much if I taught you such tricks?" My breath hitched in my throat in excitement, as he pressed even deeper into me. My eyes fixated up into the sky as he leaned around into my ear, his black hair brushing my neck, his breath tingling against my skin. "I won't tame you, for there's nothing more I hunger for than the unbroken. You will never want for freedom or power again. So what say you maid, will you be mine?"

The milky moonlight glistened through the evergreen branches into my full eyes, as the lazy snow flakes drifted onto my flushed skin. "…yes…" I whispered, half willingly and half compelled by his unescapable presence.

"Good." He said as if praising a child, and he kissed my neck with a greed that made me wonder what exactly I had just agreed to. No squire, or courtesan that I had coquettishly kissed had made me feel like this. His mouth traveled up to mine, and my lips were molded under his, sending shockwaves through my body. His hands moved down to clench my waist and heat filled my body. I was his.


	2. The Dress

The blurry image of my bedroom window shone into my sleepy eyes as they blinked open. I impulsively rolled away from the grey light. The deep cushion of my thick comforter enveloped me from the chill that lurked outside my bed. The hazy sounds of the palace drifted into my ears, nudging me from my strange dreams of a bird and a man and a kiss. The more I woke up, the more the feeling of his lips upon my mine swelled into my mind. I laid completely outstretched in my bed, and boredom crept over my hands. I was aching to touch myself. Rather greedily I slid my hands down my thighs to the warmth in between them.

"So ravishing in a maid…"

I replayed his voice in my mind as I began to rhythmically stroke myself. Within minutes I felt the pressure building. Dipping my fingers into myself, a shock of carnal pleasure pierced my body. I was so close. Sweat broke across my brow, as I lustily pumped in and out. My breath was shallow and fast. So close.

"Will you be mine?"

Suddenly, a deep feeling of relaxation spread over me. I eased back into my pillow as I rode the waves of satisfaction from my release. The wind was howling outside and I shivered. I stared out into the grey dawn as flecks of snow began to hit the panes of my window. I froze. I felt like I was being watched. I laid very still, the sound of the awakening storm filling my ears. My eyes slowly scanned around the room, but saw nothing. I inhaled sharply, as a rush of fear and excitement coursed through me. I knew someone was there with me, just beyond the plane of sight, their presence filled the whole room with shadows. My eyes darkened. It felt like him. It felt like his lust.

"Ophila!" Called Lady Maria, my governess, knocking on my door.

I cringed, as she shattered the moment. I would have to leave my fantasies to join to world of normal people. "Yes, Lady Maria." Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed and padded across the chilly stone floor. My door opened with a creak to reveal the stiff figure of Maria, her dark hair braided into an elaborate updo. She looked at me skeptically through her dark eyes.

"See to it that you come to the Odinshall, once your presentable. Today we are rehearsing the Maiden's Dance for the banquet. I expect you remember the sequence."

"Yes Lady Maria." I replied, already imagining the dread of having to perform that dance in front of all those people.

"Good. Now hurry up."

I might not have wanted to do what she says, but I was no hurry to incur her wrath, so I busily obeyed her command. I closed the door, going to dress promptly. I quickly sifted through the sea of frilly dress in my wardrobe. I had always been instinctively drawn to darker colors like black and grey, but such colors are the colors of mourning, vale witches, and pleasure houses, so no of my dresses were dark. Jane saw to it that I was kept in innocent clothing.

"I wish I had something else…" I muttered as I plucked out an indifferent blue gown and hastily threw it on.

Swiftly, I left my room and went out into the palace corridors. Even though I was rushing through the halls, I couldn't quite shake the feeling of invisible eyes turning once more upon me. My heart quickened. Did it really happen? Was it more than a dream? Is he actually here? My eyes darted from their coves at every face of every servant that passed me, hoping, wondering if one of them was him. I knew could shape shift into animals, but could take he another's form?

I mentally slapped myself for being so silly. Nothing happened last night. No powerful, mysterious, raven haired man could exist outside of storybooks. I was just lonely. No one wanted me, the adopted daughter who broods and has strange dark powers. The Asgardians were very closed minded people and if someone was an anomaly, they were not accepted. I was expected to behave according to their rules, like that was going to help me fit in after everyone found out I could bleed magic like sliver from my hands. The truth was I was miserable, angry.

"Are you free?"

The question that he had asked rung in my head and burrowed a hollow pit in me. I wasn't free, not in the slightest. I bitterly paced forward, not looking at the servants any more. I came upon the great doors of Odinshall shortly. The sweet music of the lyre flittered through the cracks. I forced a neutral expression on my face, and pushed the doors open.

I danced for her, my governess, for hours. My feet mimicking each movement with an empty robotic like grace. My steps told the journey of the maiden bounding through spring into summer into love. Happy chords vibrated from the instruments of the players and drummed through my head. My body blankly drifted along, while I churned inside. I wanted to believe so badly that he was real.

After the dancing was through, the day unfolded like it always did. I lunched alone, then sewed alone, and then sang alone, with no one but Lady Maria to keep me company. It seemed that the dream had made feel even more isolated, tempting me with what it would be like for someone to understand, to love me. For fleeting moments, I thought that I felt someone just graze my shoulder, or touch a strand of my hair, but it was so soft it felt like an illusion. Painfully my mind became fixated upon the dream. I took it apart again and again, looking for specks of reality.

Conflicted, I returned that night to my room. I closed the door softly, and took my shoes off of my sore feet. Wearily, I walked over to my wardrobe to take off my horrid, confoundedly frilly dress. As I shrugged off one sleeve and opened the doors, a rush of cold chills filled my body. All of my clothes had been emptied from the wardrobe. In their place was a gift. A beautiful silver and grey dress with a lone raven feather siting gently upon its shoulder. He was real.


	3. The Pentagram

The stars shone above me again as I ran out into the garden. My heart raced as I slipped between the bushes, my silver dress softly swishing around me in the snow. I couldn't believe it. I was freer than the wind that sweeps through the fields of Valhalla. I bounded up to the wall at the edge of the garden and repeated the same movements as before and my magic swelled like a powerful platinum river from my hands. The portal blossomed into twice the size as the one before, and I darted through it into the forest.

A stillness permeated the woods, like a sleepy dream it reached out to me and ushered me into its darkness. I could feel him here, his talons around every branch and his wings forming every shadow. The sweet sensation of fear and of want and of sadness hung like incense in between the pines. My hands were quaking. Whether it was from the portal or from him, I didn't know. Cautiously, I walked deeper and deeper out into the still forest, the snow crunching under my feet. The pale moon beams cut across the trees and pierced down onto the snowbanks. My wide doe eyes peered up through the branches and I felt something pulling me into the heart of the forest. I weaved instinctually through the towering trees for what seemed like forever until I arrived at a large perfectly circular clearing.

The wind hushed by me and a chill traveled up my spine as I spied him in the center, with his back towards me. The crystal moonlight shone on his raven haired splendor and I was hopelessly entranced. He seemed suspended like a statue, with broad impossibly graceful shoulders and a flowing emerald cape that fluttered in the wind. His lean body was clad in fine green and gold armor like a God. He stood with a meditative silence that made him even more beautiful. I could not help but stand there in awe.

"One would think you that want me-" He murmured, his deep voice sending shockwaves through my body, "-eyeing me like that."

I stood in silence, convicted by my desire and fighting with the propriety I had been raised. Slowly, a bold smile sneaked onto my once proper lips. "One would think you want me too. Why else would you watch me in my bed?"

"I want many things." He hissed, turning his towering figure around to face me, his magnetic green eyes locking onto to mine before trailing down my body. The silver dress fit like nothing I had ever owned before, clinging to all my curves. "My, what a temptress did those gowns disguise!" He smirked while beginning to stalk lustfully towards me.

"If you enjoyed what you see-" I said tilting my hips seductively, "-perhaps you should rip it off." He stopped dead in his tracks. I blushed furiously, utterly surprised at what I had just said.

"Fair but not virtuous!" He exclaimed with laughter. "We are fortunately matched, for no good girl could ever appeal to my sensibilities."

"So I do appeal to you?" I said, striding out a little farther into the clearing to meet him, my heart absolutely pounding with anticipation. Suddenly, he snatched me into his strong embrace. His eyes trailed down to my chest, where the plunging neckline of my dress was trimmed with fur. His slender and powerful hand rose to stroke the fur lining, his fingertips brushing against my open skin.

"All this enticement-" He whispered, leaning into my ear, "-will get you devoured." His hand ventured farther down till it was caressing my breast. "And I'd hate to see you get plucked before you ripen. Oh, you have so much to learn little one." He sighed pulling me in like was he going to consume me in the most perverted way. "Shall we begin our first lesson?" I shakily nodded. He released me from his grasp and stepped out into the center of the clearing. I jumped, as with a flick of his fingers a glowing pentagram that filled the entire clearing burst forth onto the snow.

"If you are to remain by my side we must have clarity." He began, as with elegant gestures of his hands he conjured green smoke from the air. "You must forget all your previous teaching about Gods and kings and men and women. Most of them are lies and even more are abominations. They would have you think that you were never born to be a God and that your name would never grace the pages of a holy text. Violent. Corrupted. Dark. They say these things like they are curses, but Hell has its divinity too, and you are one." I observed him with intense curiosity. He wasn't all tricks. That was obvesous now, hearing him speak and seeing him focus so intently. He had intensions.

"From which lineage you harken from or from which blood you have sprung I do not know, but be certain they do." He continued as the clouds of smoke begin to dance around the clearing, guided by his hands. "That is why they have fostered you so close to their bosom, suffocated you in their embrace, put you down, and made you taste their displeasure concerning your talents. It is because they want to control you. It is because you can become equal with them, yea even greater than the God's of Asgard, but become a God of the Old Faith." A jolt of energy and fury shot through his hands as he quickly extended his arms, commanding the smoke to freeze into a pantheon of shadowy creatures all around us. A horse, a cobra, a cat, a wolf, a panther, nearly every named and unnamed beast had been summoned, including a raven suspended in the sky.

"Know that they fear you." He growled with impassioned fervor, his gaze bearing down on me. "Know your worth. Never let them deprive you of your rightful glory." The wounds of centuries flickered for a fraction of a second in his eyes before he regained himself. I gazed at the magical shadow creatures, my hands running over the silk of the dress.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, looking back up at his ghostly glory, filled with desire and devotion.

"I want you to know what true power feels like." With a swooping motion of his hand, all of the shadow creatures were wrought out of the smoke, transformed into flesh and bone. The lion and the slinky cats of the forest prowled around us, and the mysterious things of the night sky circled above us. He was inside everyone at once, from the snake to the bee, his green eyes flashing from their collective coves. Without warning just as quickly as they had come alive they disappeared into golden dust that burned up in the air. He softly picked up both of my hands and held them in his. The strength that rested behind his gentle touch made me tremble.

"But if you don't know where I came from, how can you claim that I could ever be such a God?" I said with my head low. "None the less do something like that." I stared at the pentagram still glowing beneath our feet. The truth is I had never seen real magic practiced, only little bits I that had glimpsed in the Priestess's Chambers.

"My pet… do you not know a lion by its roar, or a snake by its bite?" He exclaimed while caressing my hands. "I did not say I didn't know your powers. When you have fallen from Heaven I as have, you are caught by many different people on the way down."

My mind began to spin with all of this. "Who are you?"

"I?" He laughed mirthlessly, reaching up to cup my cheeks, "I am a God of another world. I am the man that would be king. I am your lover and your lord, if you'll take me, and you will take me in time, my sweet." With that, he planted a lusty kiss on my mouth.

I leaned for more, but as I did I sat straight up in bed. It was morning, and there was a feather in my hand.


	4. The Door

I dreamed the whole day away on a cloud of bliss, not even my lessons could interrupt my good cheer, nothing except the horror that was known as the weekly family dinner. A couple years ago, the ticking time bomb that was Jane and Thor's marriage blew up. Jane had always been insanely jealous of Lady Sif and Thor, well, he never heeded to her jealousy. As soon as he thought that the children were old enough to be alright with him being gone on long battle campaigns, he returned to his old life. That old life included prolonged ventures into foreign realms with Lady Sif. Jane would not tolerate any such venture, but Thor would not tolerate staying home, or going without Sif. Thus, a thousand suspicious arguments arose like noxious clouds. It did not help that it was well known that Sif had been love with Thor since she was a young girl, or that Odin had approved of their pairing in the past.

This was the only time that my exclusion from the family proved to my benefit, sheltering me, for Alexandria and Gwen, my two two adoptive siblings, were never the same. Alexandria took the mantle of the older responsible figure well before it was her time, become bitter and distant in her premature adulthood, and Gwen became needy and spoiled, playing the victim since she was the youngest, even though there was only four months between us. Nothing but a shell seemed to be left of the people who used to belong to this house. Dinner was only a painful ceremony that was performed to prove that in some ritual sense we were still a family.

Tonight, however, was not a usual night. Friga had decided to join us as well. She was always the nicest of my adoptive family, but she wasn't here to talk to me, but rather to mend to ever the deepening fissure that was opening between Jane and Thor about the latest crisis, Loki. Both Friga and Thor were now firmly on the side of this mysterious uncle, but Jane still wasn't having it. Jane's opinions didn't matter though. Loki was coming in three days whether Jane liked it or not, so I tried to ignore their troublesome conversation as much as possible, hoping to be excused as soon as possible.

I was impatient for him. The idea that I was running away to run to him, disobeying to obey him, made me flourish. I was chosen to become the mistress of a God I knew nothing about but I wanted him. I knew he could be playing with me, and that this affair might not last, but that did not matter. I could be crushed, but I would rather be broken by him than lying dusty on a shelf, overlooked by this family and the so called good men of Asgard. I sat there picking at my food, restless to return to him.

"So…" Gwen began, settling into a smirk across from me. "I saw you practicing the Maiden's Dance yesterday." Her eyes glowed haughtily at me from under the down of her lashes.

"Yes, I did." I said coldly, knowing that Gwen was going to be ruthless. We were at the end of the banquet table and the adults were too busy debating to notice our minuscule conversation. She always lashed out when she thought no one was watching.

"Well, I guess you do have to practice. As for me, my governess said that I didn't need to practice at all." She tilted her noble head back while sipping some sweet wine delicately.

"Is that so…" I said pretending to be interested.

Another smirk grew across her mouth. "I guess that's because I have the interests of many so many noble boys and you have none. Philip, Bjorn, and Malcolm are all falling over themselves to escort me."

"Pity your champions are so clumsy." I cut, feeling empowered. Gwen didn't scare me anymore.

Her eyes got wide as I never defended myself. "Pity you're so clumsy. I bet even if you practice all day from here till the banquet you couldn't get a single boy!" Her voice hissed quietly under the clamor of the Loki conversation.

"I honestly couldn't care less about any of it." I proudly leaned forward.

"What?" She leaned forward too. "You couldn't care less about being a miserable little witch, or is that you couldn't care less about boys? Hmm? Do not like boys is that it? Do you fancy something else? You tainted little bitch. Is it Maidens? Horses? Elves-"

"-You're right! I don't like boys."

As soon as that proclamation left my lips, we both simultaneously realized that my voice was the only one to be heard. Thor, Jane, Alexandria, and Friga were all looking at us in awe. A hot swell rose into my cheeks.

"I like men." I stated as boldly and as swiftly as I could, not giving Gwen a chance to spew excuses for herself or lies about me.

"Ophelia!" Jane scolded. "How dare you say such a thing!"

Thor laughed heartily, apparently amused at me. "Do not fret. She might turn out as something yet."

"How can you approve?" Jane scowled.

"The child has spirit." He shrugged.

"That child just stated she likes men, grown men." She pointed at me with an incriminating finger. "You are nothing but a rebellious slut-"

"May I be excused?" I declared, rising from the table to astonishment of Jane.

"Yes, you may go." Friga answered softly, glancing at my untouched food and Jane's vile expression.

"Thank-you." I murmured, curtsying before I left, the sound of bickering reviving behind my back as soon as I closed the doors to the banquet hall. I didn't know who I was anymore. I wouldn't have said or done any of that before. I would have just sat there and taken it. Was I really that meek before? Had I really been that afraid of them? I wouldn't pretend and say that their words didn't hurt me, but it felt so good to stand up to them. I swiftly traveled down the corridors towards my room. "Child?" I thought, the label ringing in my mind as I began ascending the little spiral staircase that led to my bedroom. "Is that what they think of me?"

A sublet cold breeze blew by me from up the stairs. It was always kind of drafty in the court, but this was frigid. I started to go up the steps a little more slowly. A thin layer of ice crystals now covered the stone walls, making them shine. Cautiously, I arrived at the landing of stairs. My door was encrusted in blueish ice and a frosty light was piercing through the cracks of the doorframe. Slowly, I approached my door, grasping the frozen doorknob. A rush of goosebumps crossed my skin. My hand moved without conscience thought and with a click the knob turned. The door flew open to another world of sweeping snow drifts and heavy blue clouds. A lonely grey castle lay in the distance, beaten by the elements, and rising like a jagged spire above the landscape. I knew in an instant that it was his.


	5. Jotunheim

I stepped through the door and into this bleak new world of ice, placing myself firmly into the snow. The cold bit into my feet, instantly piercing through my thin shoes. This was real. A surge of confusing emotions flew through me: awe, fear, joy, and freedom. "What kind of a person can bridge the gap between worlds?" I wondered, in astonishment. The ice crystals whipped against my face as I peered out into the distance at the windswept castle. Ice had encased its stone walls and spires eons ago, preserving it in a thick crystal shell. My eyes caught movement coming from the castle's black gates. I ran forward into the snowy expanse to see what it was, but as soon as I did, I heard a rushing sound behind me. I turned around to see the opening to my world closing. In a vortex, my door vanished into the same golden sparks that the animals in the forest did.

My heart jumped into my throat. I was in deep this time. There was no returning home unless he wanted me to. I was trapped here with him. I heard the sounds of steps racing towards me. They stopped just behind my back, softly coming to a halt. I could feel his breath brush by me in a wave of warmth. I turned back around towards the castle.

"I…" My voice failed me as I stared up at the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. It was a great white fox, much taller than me, with a soft bushy tail that swept behind him in a curl. His green eyes glowed like glass at me.

"Here I find you again…" He sighed, his voice gruff and predatory. "All alone, wandering with no escort to protect your honor. What would your mother say?" He bent his majestic head down to my eye level.

"Jane is not my mother." I spat.

"Remember it." He growled, flashing his pearly fangs. "Now, get on." He ordered, bending his knees so that he was low enough that I could on his back. I reached out shyly, my hand wanting to retreat coyly as soon as it touched his soft fur.

"No need to be timid. My back hardly the lewdest thing I will ever ask you to mount."

I blushed as I climbed onto him, flinging my legs over his sides. His ears twitched attentively as I ran my hands through his fur.

"Brace yourself little one."

With a surge, we bolted out onto the expanse of snow. I hung on for dear life as he bounded over the snow drifts and icy cracks towards the castle. I could feel the pulsing of his muscles underneath his thick coat as he ran. "Is this where he is from?" I wondered, glancing up at the sky that was churning with blue clouds. A pit grew in my stomach. "Was he here all alone?" My dress was thin against the elements and I clung even more to the warmth of his fur as we flew onwards, approaching the castle. Its black gates were thrust open in anticipation of our coming.

"What happened here?" I asked as I noticed blast marks dotting the impressive exterior of the castle.

"Asgard happened here." He answered as we came through the gate and into the courtyard. He bent his elegant limbs down and let me off. I was breathless and chilled as I stepped down onto the permafrost bitten pave stones. The courtyard was wide and grand enough to challenge those of Asgard, but the stains of war were here too. Scorch marks streaked up the walls and statues were smashed and in ruins. Bones were strewn amongst discarded weapons. It wreaked of death and sadness.

"Desecration, disguised under the white wings of peace." He murmured, sweeping his tail around himself, becoming a cloud of smoke. His emerald cape fell softly around him as he once again he became a man as the smoke dispelled. "They pretend there are sinless when in truth they are not. Their glory is shrouded in dishonor, and they take just like everyone else."

I had known that Asgard had fought many wars in many realms, and I remembered the songs of the ice world that had been crushed at the hands of Odin and his father Bor. "Is this Jotunheim?" I asked tenuously.

"Yes…" He responded distantly.

The hate and emotion that covered his face could only be read one way. This was his home. My head hung with guilt as I remembered how I sang along to those songs at the feast days held in Odin's honor. And then I thought of Thor, always treating war as a sport. Him and his friends and his precious Lady Sif drinking to their ambitions like they had just won some sort of a prize. Who were they to tell me that I was evil when they crushed planets for laughs? My hands clenched into fists.

"Take me!" I declared, to both of our surprise. "I want to be yours. I'm sick of Asgard. I'm sick of them. I'm sick of me… Of who I am- was- whatever. I don't know who you are, or what you need, or what your planning to do, but I don't care. I want to be by your side. You said you wanted me as your lover than make it so. I am a willing. I will-"

My burst of emotion was stopped as he held me in a passionate kiss~


	6. Lovers

My eyes fluttered open as we were enveloped in green smoke. With a rush, we were transported into a bedroom deep within the castle. He broke the kiss, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked at me. 

“I had thought to wait a little longer, but you since you seem so enthusiastic-“ He smirked, aggressively knocking me back into the massive bed, “-You will sate me now.” He twirled his fingers and my clothes evaporated off without warning. I was left completely exposed in front of him, a sacrificial offering to his lust. My hands impulsively covered myself as I shied away from him. 

“What’s a matter?” He purred, leaning down over me, trapping me under his muscular body. “Afraid of excitement? I thought you longed for this?” 

His long raven hair brushed my cheek. His eyes burned into my soul. 

“…I do…”

“Say it again.” He commanded, pressing his body into mine.

“I do,” I said more boldly, looking back into his eyes.

“Say it so that I can hear you, woman.”

“I DO-“

With hungry passion his mouth crashed into mine, cutting me off. His hands were all over me, traveling around my waist and down my hips. Our lips collided over and over again as he ground his growing erection into my thigh. His tongue hungrily slipped into my mouth, exploring every corner. I let out a muffled moaned into his mouth as he wedged my legs apart, his knee rubbing against my wetness. Desperate for friction, I twisted against his leg. I was so wet already that if I had had any pride left I would have been ashamed, but I didn't care. I wanted his touch more than anything in the world. 

Shakily, my hands ran through his inky black hair as he turned his attention to my neck, leaving a trail of bite marks and wet kisses. I squirmed as his mouth wound down to my collar bone, kissing every sensitive spot. Nothing seemed safe from him as he proceeded to unraveled me in erotic pleasure. 

I whimpered as his lips met my breasts. His eyes peered up at me while his tongue hypnotically stroked one of my nipples. Ravenously, he began sucking and toying with them, his teeth leaving little red marks. One of his hands snuck down in between my thighs, brushing my swollen clit. I wrung as he began to mercilessly stoke it. It made lewd wet noises when he rubbed back and forth. He teased me, going just fast enough to make me moan, before going slower, building a twisting heat under his touch.

“My Lord!” I groaned, not sure if I could take it any more.

“Louder!” He ordered, continuing to finger fuck me, dipping one of his long fingers.

“My Lord!” I screamed again as he speed up. Sweat began to pour off of me. My thighs were tense and I felt a knot building my stomach. His other hand rose up to my neck, keeping me pinned to the bed while I writhed. 

“Faster-Faster-Faster!- Agh!-” My breath hitched in my throat as he began pumping in and out of me even faster. My hands desperately grabbed a fistful of his hair as I pulled him into a frantic kiss. The tenseness of my body was beginning to reach its peak. My vision faded out into white lights as my body was overcome with pulsating contractions. Another forceful thrust and I was undone, collapsing back into the bed in a surge of ecstasy. He twisted his finger around in me one last time, before pulling it drenching wet up to his mouth, just inches away from my face, and sucking it in the most seductive movement I had ever seen in my life. He smirked at my obvious entrancement, before easing off the bed.

I sat and watched in exhaustion and anticipation as he unclasped his armor, revealing his pale marble like skin and lean muscles. Gentle scars crossed his abbs and chest, evidence of battles with aggressors that I knew nothing about. A pang shot though me as it reminded me how little about the man that was posed to consume me. With every piece of clothing that dropped to the floor, I fell farther and farther in. I couldn’t imagine any future that didn’t include him loving me, fucking me, possessing me. It was the purest of lust. He unbuckled his tight leather pants, letting them fall to reveal his enormous erect length. I eyed it, rubbing my thighs together eager for his touch. 

“Your so desperate for me aren’t you?” He teased, stroking his cock with his hand. “You little tart.” 

He hungrily pushed me farther onto the bed, flipping me over so that I was on all fours. His powerful arms wrapped around me, grabbing onto my hips. He leaned into me, his chest pressing down on to my back.

“You will remember this night for as long as you live.” He said, his lips upon my ear. “Now cry for me.” With that, he thrust into me and I yelled out of the darkest pleasure I had ever known. He began to ram into me with relentless energy. It was hot and fast. The sounds of skin hitting skin filled the bedroom. I held onto the sheets for dear life. His moans were heavy and shaky, filled with animalistic need. 

He turned me over on my back, dowsing me in another wave of kisses that covered my whole body before continuing to pound into me. His beautiful alabaster skin glowed with sweat and his muscles tensed with each thrust. My mind began to drift in and out as I clung to him. He rode me relentlessly, pleasuring me beyond what I knew what was possible. We both began to shake as he pushed deeper and deeper into me. 

“More- More- Please!” I whined as I grew excruciatingly close again. 

“Good girl!” He grunted, “Beg for me.”

“Fuck me- Please!” I yelled, twisting under him, my head spinning.

He laughed gruffly while grabbing my hips so he could plunge himself even deeper into me.

“Gods!” I screamed. 

I was floating in another dimension of heat and bliss. I clawed his back as he started pushing me over the edge. His thrusts began to grow quicker and his body began quivering. His breath beat down on me like a drum. I began chanting a mantra of broken English. My toes curled as the warmth that had been pooling in my stomach built into a fire. I couldn’t take it anymore, I was plunged into another wave of pleasure. I clenched around him and he cried out. In a flood of relaxation we were both undone. I felt him weaken in my arms, succumbing to his orgasm and collapsing onto my chest. He looked so pure and exhausted upon my breast. It was hard believe that something this good could be wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) So, this was my first really smutty anything on paper! Hope you like it!


	7. Sins

Our revelry extended far into the night as we went for several more rounds, until we were left wasted and glowing. In a strange bed on an even stranger world, I couldn’t have felt more at home. I fell asleep to awaken the next day in my own bed, safe and sound as if nothing had happened. My legs ached from the desperation of his lovemaking the night before. I felt used and in a wicked way I love it. I had never been a virtuous girl. I had had sex before, but it was the disappointing boring teenage kind of sex that makes you question what a loveless marriage is like. It had never been passionate, and it had most definitely never been attached to the promise of a relationship. It had never been like this. 

My heart sank a bit as I eased myself off the bed. I wondered how long I was going to have to live this double life. I pulled my nightgown down, revealing the little satin bruises that his mouth left along my breasts. It couldn’t go on forever, none of this could. He could be mysterious and aloof and sexy… I bit my lip, tracing along where his mouth had been... But sooner or later the truth would have to come out. He wanted more than my body. He wanted my power. Almost just as much as I wanted his power, but for what I didn’t know. My magic felt like nothing in comparison to his.

He was a God. There was no doubt about in my mind now. No mortal man or simple sorcerer could create paths between worlds without the Bifrost or the help of Odin. He was incredible, and it I would have been a lie to say to that I wasn’t the smallest bit afraid of him, even if that fear made me want him more. 

The sounds of the court bell tolling jolted me from my thoughts, and I hustled out of bed. I completely forgot that Odin was going to call the court into session today in preparation for Uncle Loki’s return. I ran over to my wardrobe and hastily dressed before bounding down the stairs. I just finished plaiting my hair as I entered the court kitchen to grab a breakfast roll and cheese. I was left absolutely starving from the excitement of the night before. I quickly ate as I slipped around the columns that lined the entrance to the main reception hall. I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Odin’s booming voice coming from behind the imposing doors. It had begun without me.

“Alright. Alright.” I said to myself trying to calm myself down. “I’ll just go in through the back way. Right? No one will notice I’m missing anyway.”

I swiftly started heading around to the back entrance, making my way up a small flight of stairs that were tucked behind the columns. The stairs wound around to a secluded upper balcony that overlooked the Grand Hall. From here I could see everything and everybody. 

“Despite his many transgressions, Loki is still my son and your prince.” Odin’s authoritarian tone sent chills through my body as he rested upon the throne. “He is to be respected as such in Asgard and across the realms. Any mention of his previous wrongdoings or misdemeanors will be seen as a crime against Asgard.”

The court held themselves in obedient and grim silence. I was amazed as I had never seen anything like this before, not since Odin had declared war on Svartalfheim, and even that had some joyous bloodthirstiness to it. I crept slowly in the shadows, not sure if I should go down and risk interrupting. 

“His past is forgotten to us. He is Odinson.” Odin let the foot of his scepter hit the floor with a deafening boom. “He is restored.” 

A stilted round of fanfare rang out from the crowd. Using this distraction, I snuck down the central stairway from the balcony and descended into the hall. A couple of eyes tracked me, lurking around the edge of the crowd, but I managed to not cause a scene as I slipped into the background of the royal party. A sour pit formed in my stomach as I saw Jane glare at me. Apparently my absence had not gone unnoticed. We smiled for a few more seconds as the court’s fake joy began to painfully evaporate. The speech was over, people wanted to get on with their lives. Sighing, Odin rose and dismissed the crowd, before heading into his royal reception room with Thor close on his heels. 

“What is with you!” Jane said furiously under breath, as she brought me to the side, grabbing me before I went anywhere.

“I’m sorry. I forgot it was today.” I said, hanging my head low.

“I suppose you also forgot to sleep too? When Lady Maria came to room this morning she said you weren’t there.” She looked at me with wide eyes.

“I didn’t really sleep last night,” I said, cautiously. “Actually, I didn’t sleep well at all. I had nightmares.” My voice trembled because it was it true that I did have nightmares often, the kind of nightmares that made me sweat. “At first light I went out into the garden to walk, hoping to clear my mind. I often do so when I am troubled.”

An excruciating long pause transpired between the two of us.

“You’re just like him aren’t you.” Jane coldly whispered.

“What?” 

“You’re a liar.” She hissed. “Just. Like. Him.”

“Who?” I asked in confusion, my stomach turning because for once her accusations had some truth to them. 

“Loki, that’s who. That silver tongued serpent! You and him are cut from the same cloth. Love is lost on you.”

Her words whipped into me. “You know nothing-“

“-Wake up Ophelia!” She snapped, “Before one day you find yourself trapped in your own web with no one to help you. Rest assured, I will find out where you were last night, if not from you but from the palace guards. I will not have another Loki festering under my nose. My house will not be brought down with wickedness like Odin’s was.”

Friga glanced our way from the conversation she was having nearby with some ladies of the court. Any anger I that I had toward Jane in that moment transformed into bitter shame. I had felt disgrace and dishonor before when I was mocked for my abilities, but at least then I had some comfort in knowing that deep down they were baseless. But now there was no defense. I was what she said I was, a liar, and what worse is that this felt like only the beginning of the many more sins that I would commit in the name of freedom. I looked down at the floor, trying to compose myself. 

“Can I leave now.” I pleaded.

“Yes, you may go.” Jane waved her hand dismissively.

I practically bolted for the door. I ran out into the massive hall and just kept on going. I didn’t even know where I was heading, just somewhere far away from them. I flew through the gardens and the corridors and before I knew it I had wound up in the secluded library. Hidden behind the rows and rows of books and relics, no one could see me there. I drew myself into the most concealed reading nook that I could find. I shakily ran my fingers through my hair.

“Am I wicked?” I murmured, my head resting in my hands as unsure tears pooled in my eyes. “I know you can hear me. So don’t pretend you can’t.”

A tendril of green smoke brushed by me. 

“My sweet,” He said, placing his finger under my chin and drawing it up so that I would look at him. “Everyone’s wicked every once in a while.”


	8. Secrets

“You actually came to me…” I whispered in shock, looking up into his hypnotic eyes. “I thought maybe you would answer me, but to come? How does Heimdall not know you here? He can see every soul within the court’s walls cannot he not?” 

Faint sunlight poured in from the distant windows and warmed his face as he gazed down upon me. “You speak the truth. He does see every soul, but like I have said to you before, you have much to learn.” A shadowy smile crossed his lips as he sat down next to me. His lengthy limbs stretched down next to mine, glowing in their golden armor. “Did you really think that I would not come for the one I call lover when she called? If I did not respond to her, what better would I be than a tramp.” 

He placed his lips upon my cheek and everything blurred into each other: the family, the shame, the loneliness, the condemnation. I couldn’t contain it anymore. I melted in the light of his kindness, collapsing into his arms. Tears began streaming down my face. His expression filled with concern and pain. He took me in his embrace tenderly, holding me like I might break any moment. It was hard to imagine that someone so powerful could be so gentle. 

“I wish to protect you from this.” He desperately whispered, “I don’t what them to do to you what they did to…” 

His voice faded off, as he softly brushed my hair of my tear stained cheek. He looked so vulnerable and so young, nothing like the fearsome or lusty God that had pounced upon me only nights before. 

“I know our passion is not an easy one, and neither is our mantle to bear.” He continued, rubbing a lock of my hair between his fingers. “But we must bear it. It is our destiny.”

“Our destiny is to be depraved?” I questioned, the sting of Jane’s words still ringing in my head.

“Is a crown any less glorious because it forged out of ice instead of gold? Only the summer curses the winter and that it is because it knows it will not survive it. Soon they shall regret what they say.” His tone was deathly cold as his mouth formed a devilish smile. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him flirtatiously. 

“Take me away with you to Jotunhiem for good.” I said, “I want to runaway and hide with you.”

One of his eyebrows shot up. “Dearest, there are things that even I cannot do. Odin will not have a member of his family simply vanish from his court. We need to play our game safely.” 

“So are we to live like this forever? Am I to lie every day and vanish every night?” I tried my best pout.

“Such is the nature of secrets.” One of his hands rose dangerously close to my breast.

“Secret suck.” I retorted. 

“Only for those who don’t know about them.” His hand snaked into the neckline of my dress. My back arched as he began to caress me. I brought one of my legs over his lap so that I was straddling him. His grip tightened and he pulled me closer, grinding into me and burying his head into my soft chest. I felt him begin to heat with desire underneath me, his armor cloaking his tensing muscles, and his crotch starting to strain in his pants. I bent my head to the side and I licked his ear. A husky moan escaped his lips. I did it again. 

“Ophelia…”

He was becoming unhinged. I pushed him back against the wall we were seated against, continuing to nibble on his ear. I unclasped the front of my dress, leaving myself open to his roaming hands. His touch burned me up like I was nothing, an ember lost in his blaze. He pinned me to the ground. Dark crystals glowed in his eyes as goosebumps rose on my skin. He breathed me in like a drug while passionately kissing my neck. Every second of contact made me more delirious. My lips trembled as I yearned for him to be inside me again.

“Oh…” He gasped, bringing his mouth to hover just over my own. “You tempt me to do such bad things.”

“Then do them.” 

He lingered over me over for what felt like an eternity before coming in for the kill, his mouth meeting mine feverishly. I heard the sounds of his pants being undone. There was no patience for teasing me this time. Hastily, he positioned himself at my entrance. In a smooth motion, he entered me, his length filling me to the hilt. I bit my lip trying desperately not to cry out in pleasure as he pumped in and out of me with ferocity. The weight of his body heaving upon mine, thrusting in rhythmic bliss, was all I ever needed. My legs wrapped around his back as he continued to ride me, filling me up, emptying me out, making me whole. 

I shook as with one of his hands he rubbed my clit in tempo with his thrusts. A muffled moan struggled to escape my lips. Grinning, he stroked faster and pressed harder onto my delicate folds. 

“Aghh!” I cried out into the quiet library.

Not about to be outdone, I started kissing along his neck. He growled in response, plunging harder into me. I kept on going down his neck. The rhythm of his thrusts increased. A dream like trance came over me. The warmth in my core of my body was now increasing into an all-consuming haze. His pale skin flushed pink in his cheeks as he rocked over me. My legs clenched around his back, pulling him in closer as my eyes began to flutter. Suddenly, a shock a divine euphoria shot through me. My head tilted back as he dove into me once more, and then he too was overcome with anguishing pleasure, spilling his seed inside me. He placed his mouth upon mine lovingly. 

I woke up with start in the same nook that we had made love in. My hair arranged and my dressed tied. This was becoming too normal. However something had changed. There was a little green book in my lap. Tied to the top of the book was a note that said, “read me,” in beautiful scrolled lettering. I shrugged and flipped opened the cover. It was a book about magic.


	9. Crimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my own little alternate universe, so things happened differently when Loki invaded earth!

I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room, reading deep into the night and then into the morning. The little book was filled with spells about everything, from how to levitate, to how to enter someone's dreams. My mind was being stretched beyond belief. I barely understood this dimension, not alone the next. I had no idea what the "astral plane" was, or how to project emotions. Some of the passages were in cryptic languages I had never seen before. Other spells asked for sacrifices or for the spellcaster to gather magical objects from places that lurked at the edge of the universe. It was incredible, but it was not completely without drawbacks, for at the bottom of each spell there was a list of possible risks. Some were minor, like burns or temporary numbness, but others were grave, like blindness, madness, and death.

In the margin of its weathered pages were comments written in emerald colored ink. It was the same beautiful handwriting that the note had been written in. Sometimes I came across completely handwritten pages that had been stitched in, detailing how to perform spells that he had discovered himself. My fingers ran over his words softly as I read them. Visions of him alone, scribbling down his discoveries crossed my mind. I was seriously falling for him.

The rays of the mid-morning sun pierced through my window and my sleep deprived eyes winced as I rolled around in my bed. Happy daydreams of him floated in my thoughts. I closed my eyes as drowsiness finally started to take me over.

There was a gentle knock at my door, and I grumbled discontentedly, not wanting to get up.

"Ophelia?"

It was Frigga. I sat up instantly in my bed.

"Coming!" I responded, as in a sudden dizzy scramble, I hid the book under the covers and jumped out the bed. Trying to flatten my bedhead with my hands, I rushed over to the door. Praying that I didn't look like a total mess, I opened the door as calmly as I could.

"I'm sorry to just come without warning." She said, entering the room. "But I need to talk to you." She looked down at me and I realized that I was wearing the same dress that was wearing yesterday to Odin's speech.

"Oh, you must think me awful odd." I blushed furiously. "I was up all night reading a book I found in the library."

She laughed softly, while joining me on my small chaise. "You remind of someone…" Her expression grew distant for a moment before she looked back at me. "I would not have come here unannounced without a reason." She took a deep breath. I had never seen her so emotional yet and so unreadable at the same time. "I'm here to talk about what Odin did not talk about yesterday in his address to the court… Loki's crimes."

I stared at her in partial shock that she would have come here to talk about this of all things.

"You are old enough to hear about it now, and if he is to be part of our family again, you should know what kind of man he is." She gestured at me. "I shall say it, when he was younger he was not unlike you, reading books all night long."

My expression soured. "That is the second time someone has likened me to him."

"Really?" She tilted her head. "Did Jane do so?"

"Yes…" The folds of my dress crumpled underneath my grip.

"Jane has a deep fear of Loki and of magic. You know that Jane is from Midgard?"

"Yes, I do but, I'm afraid I do not know much about Midgard though."

"It is a sensitive subject." She got up and began around pacing the room, her thoughts weighing heavily on her.

"Loki destroyed Midgard." She suddenly said, like there was no other way around it. "He invaded it," She continued. "He fought against both Thor and Midgard's Avengers. When Loki realized that there was no way he could win or escape he triggered a series of bombs that he had hidden all across the surface of Midgard, killing a great many people. It was genocide."

"How was he permitted to live after doing such a thing?" I asked in horror.

"He is still alive because what he did was not his doing." She sat back down next to me, seeming broken hearted and distraught. "He might have always been a dark and brooding prince, but he was not in his right mind when he invaded and leveled Midgard. The jeweled scepter that he had wielded and used to brainwash so many in his invasion, had actually brainwashed him. He was merely a vessel of someone far eviler. His mind was possessed with a voice that spoke stronger than a thousand voices. We still to this day do not know who the voice belongs to, but we pray that we never encounter its owner on the battlefield. It has taken decades of work by the priestesses to remove that toxic waste from his mind. Loki has been clear headed for three years now, and the next phase of his adjustment is to be amongst family, but there are those like Jane who do not believe he was innocent. She thinks the voice was a spell that Loki cast on himself in order to protect himself against being executed. She blames him for the destruction of her world and thinks that we are blind to his ways."

I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands. "This is a lot to take in."

"I understand Ophelia, but I'm telling you for more than the sake of just telling you." She took my hands in hers. "I am warning you. How Loki first encountered the scepter is still a mystery. He was guilty of crimes before his invasion Midgard, and if Jane thinks that I am blind it is far from the truth. I know that my son is not good, but I also do not believe that he is bad. He is different, and we still do not know what he wants in this new life we are giving him. Just be mindful of what he has done when you meet him tomorrow night, or if he ever speaks to you directly."

"Why would he speak to me?" My eyes rose to meet hers.

"Because, you are different too." My lips parted in surprise. She smiled at me, while gripping my hands reassuringly.

"We should talk more often." She said rising and heading towards the door.

"Yes, we should." I echoed, still sitting overwhelmed on the chaise.

"See you tomorrow." She called while closing the door, leaving me alone in my room to dwell on my newly found thoughts.


	10. Chaos

A wet breeze blew by my face as I awoke to an icy chill freezing my bones. Hours seemed to have drifted by in a flash. It seemed like only seconds ago that I had fallen asleep in the afternoon sunlight. Muted pink and red undertones shown across my lids, dim green lights under my eyes, as I moaned. My mind was exhausted from both reading and from Friga's conversation. My room was dark, night had obviously come while I was asleep. A snowstorm was raging outside, whipping against my windows. A loud clattering made me jump out of my skin. The doors to my balcony were open and thrashing in the wind. I struggled to unwind myself out my bedding and I rushed to close them, not giving a second thought to look around the room, only focusing on the wet snow that was blowing in. I leaned my body weight against the doors, out of breath and alarmed at the sudden tumult.

I sleepily headed back towards my bed, and that's when I saw him out of the corner of my eye, sitting on my chaise at the far end of the room. I smiled at first, but my happiness vanished as his eyes turned up to me meet mine in the dark. His gaze burned into me with hate and distrust.

"So, your first thought would have been to put me to the sword."

His words cut through the room while he grimaced at me, his fingers restlessly tapping against his knee. I slowly began to back away from him, the back of my legs hitting my bed.

"How is he permitted to live?" He titled his head mockingly.

"Loki…" I let his name fall from my lips as I stood petrified.

"Do you regret having having laid with me now!" He roared, suddenly flying up from the chaise. "Does your skin crawl when you look at me? Am I that monster my mother warned you not to speak to? Tell me!" He paced toward me, his hands clenched in fury. My voice was lost in my mouth.

"Have you nothing to say?" He persisted. "Do I make you that afraid now, girl? Now that you know that am the devil's scourge?"

He lurked over me like a mad animal. Fear and pain cemented me where I stood, numb and silent.

"The play would have been up by tomorrow night anyway." He said turning away from me, his mind whirring and clicking like a mad machine. "But I would have been the one to introduce myself in my own way. Not this way. Imagine us exchanging names while we stood together in a line of respectable people. Us sitting down together at the same table with your parents and mine- All of them not knowing what we know about each other! All of them not knowing what we have what have done with each other! That would have been the best of secrets would it have not?"

He let loose a sigh, turning back to me while smiling sadly, his emotions swinging like a pendulum in his chest. "We could have the universe." He exclaimed in a whisper. "We could do whatever we wanted when we wanted to. We could be Gods amongst mere valkyries. And yet- and yet- you sit you sit there in silence."

"I'm sorry," I said, my tongue dry in my mouth as I sat down on the bed, crushed by him. 

"Sorry?" He cried, exasperated in a fit of anger. 

"I have spent most of my life sitting in silence while people yell at me," I replied, sitting completely still on the bed, as though if I moved I would fall off into an abyss. "It feels natural."

He bent onto his knees in front of me, tenderness returning to his face.

"Ophelia, I shall not lie to you. I am not a moral man. I am perverse. I am wrong. I am vile. I trick people, and I do it often. I am corrupt, and I love all that are corrupted." He reached out to touch my leg, his hand running down my thigh. "I want you by my side. I want you to cry out for me. I want to adore you. I want to ruin you. I want you to be mine."

His hand rose up to stroke my face. The gentle foothold that he had on my heart was now wrapping around my whole body. I just want to accept it. I was bad too, and I wanted nothing but the best for the worst of all my sins. 

"Is this what downfall feels like?" I murmured,

"Does this feel like downfall to you?" He said, taking me in his arms. His mouth landed on mine in a possessive kiss and I was reborn. I was chaos, his chaos, and there was no one else I would have rather been.


	11. The Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me a little longer to update this time! I just wanted to do Jotunheim justice and give it a good swing.

"Bed me- now." I gasped as our lips parted, unashamed to be so demanding.

"Bed you?" He purred with a smile, "I shall do more than that tonight... Arise and come with me." He commanded, a meditative passion in his voice as he stood. "The time for shackles is over. I have grown impatient to see you in all your glory. We will have time for carnal pleasure on many more evenings like this one, but tonight I shall free you. I shall unravel that knot of magic you have within your soul. I want to break your mortal bounds. I want to make you a God." His gaze fell down to my chest, his eyes watching it as it rose and fell with my breaths. Nothing but the thin fabric of my nightgown covered me from him. "No longer will you be a prisoner in your own ribs."

I slowly rose up from the bed, letting a shadowy smile dance across my lips.

"Who am I to deny a prince?" I whispered,

He chuckled low while aggressively grabbing me into his embrace.

"Are you sure that you don't desire some pleasure tonight?" I smirked, biting my lips.

"Pleasure is a many-sided thing." He whispered, "Now get dressed, or am I going to have abduct you in your nightgown?"

"Why don't you just snap your fingers?" I mused.

He leaned into me, "Because there is nothing more beautiful than a maid undressing while she knows that she is being watched by her lover." A hot flush filled me as he released me from his arms. He sank back onto the bed, a shadow overtaking his face as reclined, leaving me alone for him to study.

The air was pulsating with tension as I walked with as much dignity as I could gather over to the wardrobe, his salacious gaze scorching down my back with each step I took. I opened the doors and swept my hair to one side. Shifting off one of the shoulders of my nightgown, I looked back at him. His gruesome good looks seemed haunted, wound up like a steel trap. There was something so awful, so alluring about his breed of handsome. With another brush of my hand, I let the nightgown fall, leaving myself bare. The broken moonlight from my window danced across my fresh skin. There was a jolt of intimacy that coursed between us, a dialog without words. My nakedness was as sexual as his slight smile was provocative. I didn't feel like a girl anymore.

I reached in and retrieved the silver dress from its hiding place in the back of the wardrobe. The fabric gently rustled as I stepped into it and pulled it over my body, fastening the ties. It conformed to me just as beautifully as it had before. 

"Ravishing." He praised, while rising from the bed, obviously proud of his creation. He took a few sauntering steps over to me. "Now let us vanish before the dawn arrives and cuts short our time together."

He reached out and took my hands in his. The now familiar cloud of dark smoke began to swirl around us. A fire like sensation shot through my veins as a pool of mirror like energy formed around our joined hands, swelling from our wrists. Streaks of blinding light flew like shooting stars from the floor. Suddenly, a burst of golden light spread all around us, and in a magnetic surge, we flew right through the ceiling. Like a lightening strike, we came down upon the surface of Jotunheim with an electric boom, burning a knotted pattern into the ice. 

To my surprise, we were somewhere different than before. Instead of being on the vast planes of blue ice, we were deep within a crooked valley and surrounded by mountains of ice that rose like jagged teeth around us. In front of us was a mountain that had had it face sheared off and carved into a crystalline pattern. At its base was a pair of sculpted doors with inset blue gems.

"What is this place?" I asked, my warm breath forming a cloud of fog in the cold.

"A Jotun temple." He replied, moving forward towards the doors. 

I followed him as the stories about what happened in strange temples with even stranger hosts swelled in my mind. The ceremonies and traditions about what should happen, what would happen, charged the air. "The scepter that he had wielded, had it come from a place like this? And the voice that had rung in his head, had it first spoken from a remote sanctuary like this?" I silently wondered. The doors swung open with a blast of air as we came upon them, revealing the glassy hall inside. I was instantly hit with a powerful magical aura as we entered.

"Loki-" His name sounding sweet on my tongue. "-I feel cold inside."

"Many things have taken place here in the past, and the past has coldest of aftertastes."

We stepped forward into the hall, as the doors closed with a resounding thud behind us. Our footsteps echoed in the vast emptiness of the temple. The entire inside of the mountain had been carved into. Transparent towering hexagonal pillars, like quartz crystals, rose in a jumble of geometric supports from the floor. Winding stairways branched off above us, leading to unknown places in the higher reaches of the ceiling. In the center of the temple, there was a massive altar made of reflective black stone. Loki was heading right for it, stopping right at its base.

"This is where your destiny awaits you." He said spreading out his arms in exaltation. He turned to me, his head held high. "Do you ever remember seeing anything so grand?"

"Only a bird," I grinned, my heart racing, secretly very afraid of what was about to happen to me.

"Please, sweet one." He entreated, gesturing to the alter. "Get on it."

It felt ironic that still called me sweet when I felt like I might be anything but sweet. Carefully, I pulled up my dress and stepped onto the altar. The stone felt alive under my feet. A confusing swell of emotions arose in my chest, some mine, some foreign. I wondered how many others had stood upon this altar. I clenched my fists and stood committed, looking distantly at him in the smolder of our nightmare tainted dreams.

"Shut your eyes and let your emotions flow." He guided, stepping up onto the alter too. "It is the only way for the beyond to touch you, and you must let it touch you."

I glanced back at him before closing my eyes and trying to do as he commanded. Brief passing thoughts of my old life burned up before my eyes. Voices seemed to whisper all around me. An overwhelming feeling of pain crept up my spine. I wanted to disintegrate and go in all different directions. My mind hung over the void of my memories.

"Now, I want you to concentrate." He said coming up from behind me and embracing me, piercing through the veil of thoughts. "Before you do anything you need to let go of all your restraint. You power needs to be loosed."

He softly pressed into my wrists with his thumbs. I began to feel heat swell from inside my arms, pooling under his touch. A rhythm overtook my breathing.

"Give yourself over to what inside you."

I pang of fear shot through me. Something inside me still didn't want to lose control.

"I'm scared." I cried out.

"Your scared because you're incomplete." He soothed, pressing a harder. I let out a whimper as silver energy began to drip from my hands. It scorched down my fingers and burst into flames as it hit the altar, molten like melted metal.

"You are safe with me. The pain will pass after the impurities of underuse burn away."

He held me steadily as the silver continued to scorch me. The pain, however great it was, grew to feel somehow cleansing the longer I experience it. It was incinerating my guilt and my frustration. I grew hungry. Just another drop and I would be free. I could feel it. I was so close. A power began to stream through my limbs. The silver ran over the alter and spilled onto the floor.

He let go of me as an intense force drew my hands upward. I couldn't stop it. My arms were transfixed as above me. All the things that I had ever done were cathartically drained out of me into the flood coming from hands. It filled the temple with light as it branched out from me into the sky. I was shaking like a leaf, but it kept coming out of me in a torrent. Every bit of my strength was being consumed in a feverish blaze. I couldn't hold it anymore, but there was no stopping it.

"Ophelia?" I heard his voice calling, concerned somewhere in the distance.

My vision darkened. A deep tiredness wrapped around my bones and my head hung defeated. Unnervingly, a cracking noise spread above my head. The silver branches splintered in a violent burst, fracturing into a thousand shards. Uncontrollable, the suspended field of energy erupted overhead, knocking me down against the floor. The floor spun and his shadow crossed over me before his strong hands picked me up from the altar. The smell of smoke and burning embers stung my nose as I slipped out of consciousness.


	12. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know that there has been a lot of plot chapters! I promise smut is coming. I just want to build up to it and make it right for the characters etc. etc.

Broken apologies swam through my head. I knew that he was there with me, hanging above my body. My eyes were sealed shut as a tomb as I hung motionless, weightless. Where ever I was, I was not truly there. I was somewhere deep inside myself. I felt like I could drift forever within the crevasses of my body, dancing with the silver demon. It was there inside me. I could sense it, see it, unlike before when it was repressed inside my soul. Like an injured animal, it was now brooding at the back of my skull. It was blood of my blood, but it did not feel like me. It was energy. It was alive. It was starved. “Malignant?” I wondered. “Or just different?”

I heard Loki’s voice echoing down at me, but comprehended no words, just vague syllables of panic and regret. He was worried and in distress. I tried to bring myself out of this state, but I failed, drowning in exhaustion. 

Just as I was about to be sucked below an even deeper horizon, a warmth slowly spread from my back. Its golden light entered my dreams and sought me. It enveloped me in its rays and pulled me from the abyss. With a rush, I felt my lungs filling with life. My eyes flickered open, and my bedroom ceiling came into focus.

“Ophelia!” Loki gasped, laying his head upon my chest, his hands grasping mine. I knew instantly that it was his magic that brought me out. “Don’t forsake me again. I was-“ His eyes flashed at mine. No words passed from his lips, but his expression told me everything as he bent in to kiss me desperately. 

“I’m fine now,” I reassured, putting my hands on his cool cheeks. “It was just a little too much for me. That was all.”

“Too much? I felt you drawing away from me, from reality.” His expression became wrought with concern as he knelt next to me. “Do you not realize what could have happened?”

I thought back to the warnings at the bottom of the spells. Had he just saved my life? I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to know how close I had come. Somehow that thing living inside me became more sinister now.

“I saw it,” I said grimly, struggling to sit up to face him. 

“You saw ‘it’?” He asked, raising a perplexed eyebrow.

“The thing, the magic, you know? It was just coiled there inside me. I don’t know how to describe it, out of body yet in body, but I did see it, and it was hungry.” 

His expression darkened, and his brow furrowed with guilt. “It was my fault. I should have never pushed you.”

“I’m okay-“

“-No you’re not.” He cut, with a seriousness that frightened me. “You’re not well. I tried to make you whole and instead I have severed you… or a least uncovered something that had been severed.” He paused, in thought. Without a sound, he stood up and began to pace the room slowly, before stopping with his back to me. 

“Tell me, did the priestesses do anything to you when they saw your magic? Perform any rite? Give you anything to drink?”

“What?” I exclaimed in shock at his suspicious line of thought. “Do you think they tried suppress my powers?”

“It’s not beyond the realm of belief.” He replied in a disenchanted tone.

“It’s beyond my belief.” I contested. “They might have tried to stop me from practicing magic, but I don’t think they would have tried to take it away, repress it? Is that even possible?”

“I know them, Ophelia.” He grimly declared. “I spent the last twenty-one years of my life with them while they exorcised me, dividing spirit from bone and putting me back together again.” An oppressive swell of despair radiated out of him a he stood there mechanically straight. “I think I know what they can do.” He continued, turning towards me. “They can bind magic, separate it, and push it down. There are many things that they can do, more than they let people know. They might not have been able to take away what you have been given, but they could have certainly cut its ties with your soul. Something or someone has tried to detach you from who you are. Was it them?” His somber eyes flashed in thought as he looked back at me, still a deathly shade of pale from being knocked down. His expression shifted to that of tenderness. “Or was it you, dearest?” 

“Me?” I was starting to wonder if he was all there. “How could I possibly do something like that?”

“Sometimes when we can not accept who we are, we reject ourselves.” His usually self-assured voice was shaking a little bit. “We hide from the truth. We cut off things about ourselves that offend us, and we self-contain to them point that we forget who we really are. It is a disunion of self and it hurts.” He smoothed back the lock hair which had fallen into his face while becoming silent once again in thought.

I looked at his distraught beauty, a question sticking in my throat. “Are you speaking from experience?” I finally said after a long pause.

He sighed softly in response and sat down on the bed next me. Last night’s storm had broken and the first rays of the dawn were beginning to cross into my bedroom, trailing along the floor. I reached out to him and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“What's inside me?” 

“It won’t hurt you for now.” He answered, knowing exactly what I was really asking. “But I’m afraid that things will become worse before they become better, that is if you ever want to use your powers like you were born to use them. You will suffer, and it hurts me to say that I cannot prevent you from suffering.”

“And what comes after the suffering?”

“Whatever you want.” A mysterious smile grew across his mouth. There was no one but him for me. He took me in his arms and he kissed me rawly, the bittersweet taste of sadness and desire behind each touch~


	13. Promise

He pressed my body down into the pillows, his mouth heavy on my mine. I responded in kind, consuming him with every kiss. He moaned deeply as he grasped my waist, pulling me tightly into him. The shock of last night had left my body hypersensitive, and every touch made me shudder. Down the sides of my face and my neck, he anointed me with hot kisses, like he was hoping to banish the brokenness that had its tendrils around me, around us. I felt his pain in my arms, the restless dissatisfaction with everything, the crushing need for more. 

His fingers dug possessively into my back as he flipped me over so I was top of him. His powerful hands rose up to run through my hair, while his lips slammed into mine. The fallen prince tasted like rapture to me. His tongue slipped into my mouth, exploring, savoring every cove. A cocktail of lust and heady passion dripped into our veins. The gold flecks of his eyes glowed like embers as I moved to straddle him.

“Whatever you need-” I whispered, my hair falling softly into my face as I leaned over him, “-let me provide it. Let me satisfy you.” I rolled my hips sensually onto him.

“Quench me then.” He growled, his characteristic hubris flooding back. “Show me your devotion.” He commanded, grabbing my ass and rubbing me harder against his growing erection. “Show me that you are mine.”

Continuing to rock back and forth on him, I began to undress. His face betrayed his ravenous need as I teased him, unlacing my dress till it just covered my breasts by a thread. His hands squeezed my ass harder as he started to twist underneath me. A smile snuck onto to my mouth as I realized the effect I had on him, the sexual power I held. His need to dominate me was his very weakness. With a bold movement, I pulled open my dress. His hungry hands ran up to my tender breasts. 

“Loki…” I moaned as he feverishly caressed me as if he might never touch me again.

His face sweetened with perversion as he brought one his hands to my lips and dipped a long finger into my mouth. I sucked on it, the salty flavor dancing on my tongue like an intoxicating poison. 

“Oooooh.” He purred, pulling it out of my mouth with a craven smile, his eyes polluted with dirty thoughts. “The things that I could fill that mouth with.”

His gaze scorched into me like hypothermia, both freezing me and burning me at the same time. I couldn’t stand his beautiful body being hidden any longer. Hurriedly, I went to unbuckling his armor, kissing every bit of new flesh that I exposed. The scars along his lithe abs were met by my mouth. I ravished all the nooks and crannies of his body. There was not a bit of him that I did not worship. Before I knew it the only thing left between me and his straining erection was his black leather pants.

Greedily, I nibbled along his hip bone, letting my fingers run along his thighs. He groaned darkly, his breath shaking in his chest. I began to deftly undo his pants while he struggled to keep himself still, his muscles tensing under his soft pale skin. He titled his hips upward allowing me to pull them down, revealing his throbbing cock. 

Slowly, I began stroking it with my hand, causing him to suck in his breath sharply. Making eye contact, I flicked my tongue along the tip before licking it all the way down to the base, leaving a glistening trail of saliva. Harsh, gasping sounds of pleasure poured out from his mouth as I rolled my tongue against the head. It was rigid and warm and delicious. His shoulders rippled as I splayed my fingers across his stomach and continued to tease him, never quite taking it into my mouth. 

Unable to contain himself, he grabbed a fistful of my hair and pushed me onto his shaft. My lips wrapped around his length obediently as he bucked underneath me. I eagerly sucked on it, pulling my mouth up and down in rhythmic motions. Sweat broke across his brow. Filthy things, sweet and sour names, like “harlot” and “pet” oozed out of his lips. Each utterance sent a jolt down to the wetness between my legs. His hardened anatomy reeled in pleasure. In a rush he became undone, his filling my mouth with a loud moan. 

I licked my lips, his seed dripping from them, feeling the dirtiest I had ever felt in my life.

“Do you relish my flavor?” He crooned, “My sweet.”

I smiled up at him while twisting my legs. “Yes,” I replied whipping my mouth.

“Well then… I think it's best that I reward you.” He replied smugly, leaning forward and dragging me towards him. I was nothing in comparison to his strength as he pinned me down to the mattress. His messy hair framed his pale face so gorgeously as he brooded over me, wrestling me in place. His hips begged entrance into mine as he spread my legs. The sweet ache of his limbs entangling with mine filled me with need. In a hard thrust, he penetrated me. 

“Loki!” I cried through my parted lips.

He came down on me again, rocking the bed. 

“Loki…” I whimpered again.

He rammed into me in a torrent of forceful motions. I forgot my name and where I was for a moment. All there was him taking me, fucking me. Undone and animalistic, we tangled with each other on the bed. I was on top of him and then he was on top of me. Power, lust, desire shook our bones. Our fragments and edges fit perfectly together. His hands were all over me. His mouth was upon my flesh, biting and sucking. A glorious knot of tension began to rise in my stomach. Shuddering, he sped up, furiously pounding into me. 

“Say that you need me!” He ordered through his clenched teeth.

“I need you Loki-” I mewled breathlessly. 

“Say that you want me!” He gripped onto my wrists, pressing them above my head. 

“I want you Loki- Loki-” My back arched as he dove even deeper into me. 

“Never leave me. You understand.” He pressed into me with a desperation I had never known. “Not for death. Not for anything-” His breath cut short as he started to tremble above me.

The rosy glow of his cheeks was now a fire. My heart was pumping a million beats a minute as he drove into me in a final burst of energy. Swirling stars filled my eyes as I clawed into his back. Peace flooded me as a glowy warmth spread from my back to my toes. It was the most glorious sensation I had ever felt in my life. He let out a lusciously loud moan before caving on top of me. Every pore on our bodies dripped of sex as we laid with our chest heaving together naked, skin against skin.

“I won’t ever leave you,” I whispered into his ear. 

He embraced me like a child in need of comfort, his lips resting on my collar bone.

“Promise?” He asked, his voice tentative. 

“I promise,” I replied, meaning it more than anything I had ever said before.


	14. Goddess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for the lovely comments and kudos! I can't wait to get cracking on writing the banquet chapter (chapters?) I know don't yet but I can't wait!

A restful calm spread over the both of us. The storm had passed for now. 

“I shall see you tonight, dearest-” He murmured as golden smoke enveloped him. “-When our worlds become one.” 

In a soft twinkle, he vanished from my room like a phantom. I stared up at the ceiling, grasping at the void that he had left in my arms. The dawn had fully risen now and reality was coming for me. It was strange to think that soon he would be a part of it, that Loki would come out of my dreams and walk amongst men. 

“When our worlds become one…”

His voice echoed in my mind. 

I closed my eyes and I could feel the magic beating within me, just under the breasts that he had just ravished. I felt haunted, but at least I didn’t feel lonely. Even though I might not have been complete in soul, I was complete in heart. His unruly affection was just the medicine that I had always yearned for. 

A fire burned in me. I wanted to be the best I could be for him. I wanted to be anything that he wanted me to become. The brokenness that I saw in him was the same thing I saw in me. I knew how it hurt. We were the same, aching bodies and minds. We were both born wild. No amount of gold on a chain could make it comfortable. No amount of law could ever replace compassion. 

I thought of Jane, and I thought of her threats. If she ever found out about this, I couldn’t imagine what she would do. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. I did know what she would do, or least, what she would demand to be done. The dungeon, that pit of blackness beneath court where he had suffered. She would put him back there. Loki was hardly a fool. Surely, he knew the risks, and yet, he had sought me out. 

“And now he wants me to never leave him.” I wondered silently, “How did I fit into his world? How could I be of more value than his freedom? All this talking of being Gods… but Gods of what?” 

There was obviously something brewing inside his noble head, but I still knew too little about him to figure it out. It was frustrating. I didn’t even know how he kept on appearing to me while supposedly still being in the dungeon.

I got up from my bed and began tidying up the room, removing the evidence of my immorality. Worrying about things that I might never get the answers to seemed pointless. He would tell me when he was ready, whenever that would be. I smoothed out the bed, the sheets still smelling like him, and lit a candle, frowning as its perfume eroded his musk. Slipping into a casual dress, I looked into the mirror and tried to imagine how I could possibly regain the look of ill-fitting innocence that I had before. He was all over me now. There was no putting it back easily, like the silver dress that I was shoving into the wardrobe. His touch was like Midas and I was turning gold. How can you hide a thing like that?

Unexpectedly, the sounds of girlish singing echoed up from my stairwell.

“Yvon!” I yelped in realization, jumping to clean up whatever anomalies that remained. 

Before I knew it the voice had arrived at my door and she burst in. 

“Good Morning!” She sang with a smile. Yvon was the handmaiden that was sent to me on special occasions. I had no handmaiden of my own since I preferred not to have a snotty attendant wait on me like Gwen or Alexandria did. Thankfully, Yvon was one the happiest people I had ever met and I did not mind her company. As far as handmaidens go I liked her a lot. No doubt Yvon was here to get head start on getting me ready for tonight's welcome feast. 

“Good morning,” I yawned, feigning tiredness even though my heart was pounding in my chest. 

“Did you sleep well?” She asked, coming to up to me, her brown curls bouncing around her face.

“Yeah- I slept fine,” I replied, praying that I didn’t look like sex.

“Well, today is the big day.” She chirped, “We have all morning and afternoon to get ready, and then Lady Maria said that she wanted you to meet up with your sisters before the feast so that you can practice walking out with them. We are going to have so much fun! And I have great news too, guess what?”

“What?” I said, her infectious charm making me grin.

“Well, I turned sixteen two days ago and that meant that I could be assigned to a permanent position.” She giggled, barely able to contain her glee. “When Jane heard that I was up to be assigned she suggest that I would be a lovely companion for you!”

My heart died a little. 

“I’ll attend to you and mend your clothes and make you new dresses and brush your hair everyday and-”

-And -And -And. My mind buzzed with hatred as she joyously went on about the wonders of our new relationship. Every glorious thing she said my brain mentally corrupted with sour words like watch, spy, and tell on. Jane clearly wanted me to know that she was keeping tabs now. Yvon didn’t know why she was placed here. She was innocent and I knew it, but innocence doesn’t know when to stop talking or what they’re talking about. She would be an endless stream of information at the slightest of coaxing. I forced a smile. I did honestly like Yvon, and I was going to make the best of this even if her presence made my position even more precarious.

“What do you have in mind for my hair?” I asked, breaking her flow of speech.

“We could do loads of things!” She launched off into another spiel as she sat me down at the dressing table. 

I do admit, it was nice to hear someone talk without a care for once. 

“I want to be pretty,” I said, thinking of him. “I want to look fair and pleasing. Can you do that for me?”

“But surely, you’re fair now.” She exclaimed.

“Well can you be sure that I do. I want to have a happy night.”

“We’ll make you up like a Goddess.” She sighed, spreading my hair over my shoulders. 

I swear I felt like I could soar.


	15. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for an update! Uni was really stressful and depression decided to kick me while I was down. Chapters will be back to normal now!

The day went by quickly as Yvon made good on her promise. I was dripping with finery by the time she was done. My hair had been put up into a complicated pile of braids and my body had been draped in a white beaded dress that shimmered like a crystal in the light. Even my skin smelled divine, like rosewater. I was so nervous, like a young bride. This was the first time he would see me as an Asgardian princess instead of as a maiden. Would I be all that he expected? Would I go red under his gaze? I pleaded with myself that I wouldn’t.

I had just now arrived at Odinshall, were a great crowd of partygoers was packed under the chandelier light. I had finished rehearsing how to transition to the banquet hall with my sisters, and now I was free to roam the party till the adults of the royal family and the guest of honor arrived. 

“Loki…” I whispered under my breath longingly. 

I smoothed my hands down the sides of my dress as I entered the main floor that was made sultry by the people. I was consumed by the crowd. The light danced in my eyes. The sound permeated my body, weighing down on me from above like humidity, suspended, everywhere, flushed. It was heavy with laughter. It was a joy void of oxygen and full of smiles. A rush of sweaty hands shakes clung to me in greeting. Indistinct faces and voices all wished me well. 

No one really cared who I was now. Witch. Impure. Second best. They were enraptured in a half-sickening, half-tipsy, half-dying haze of mead and celebration. Loki was right about some things. Asgard was not a land of virtue. They could care less about why they were here. They just wanted to show off their own finery and get a kick while doing it. It was a free stage for their own vanity. I slowly worked through the bog of flashy dresses and half drunk noblemen, blankly echoing their greetings.

“Come join us Ophelia darling!” Gwen called out from her wretched cove of friends, all of them rather petty girls just like herself. 

“Of course,” I replied coming over to them, wondering why she had taken an interest in me. 

The gossip-tinged smiles of the girls gleamed while they hurriedly pressed their cheeks to mine in greeting before returning to their conversations. Boys- Conquest- Scandal- It flowed their lips like honey. 

Gwen took my hand. Her smile wrapped around me like a snake. “Sweet sister, why are you all alone? Is there no one escorting you?”

“No, I came alone. There is no one.”

“What a pity.” She sighed, looking at me with anything but pity. “After all that talk of men, and you don't even have an escort.” 

I glanced over her shoulder at her flock of prim and dashing looking suitors that were talking close by, glancing eagerly at her. They were all just a tease for her. I wonder if she would ever love anyone. 

“Well surely you have escort, though… you keep so many of them.” I said under my breath to her as I smiled at the group of boys. There was no denying that they weren’t handsome. I had hated Gwen so long for her popularity, but they were nothing compared to what I had. 

“You're looking well tonight Princess Ophelia!” One of the boys declared, smiling back at me. I recognized him as Malcolm Berg, one of the boys Gwen had specifically been interested in. 

“As do you!” I called back, surprised as this was the first time that one of the noble boys had really noticed to me. 

Startlingly, he broke rank and came over to us. His blond hair and fine features glowed softly in the light.

“I hope you do not think me too bold, but may I reserve your first dance.”

My breath stopped where it stood. I couldn’t very well dance with Loki. That would be too suspicious, but this boy was one of Gwen’s. Still, I hated sitting alone not dancing, and Malcolm was very pleasing to look at. I couldn’t say he wasn’t attractive. 

“Yes, of course you may,” I answered. 

I could feel Gwen absolutely seething beside me.

“You honor me too much, my princess.” He raised his glass, filled with sweet wine, to me flirtatiously before returning to his group of young wolves. I wondered if it was because I was Yvon’s work, or because of the new found confidence that Loki had given me that I was suddenly of interest. Had I changed that much? I didn’t even know what to think. 

“What was that?” Gwen snapped into my ear, wrapping her arm around mine, preventing me from leaving. 

“Did do anything?” I protested, trying to casually wring my arm away from her.

“You know what you did.” She insisted, not letting go.

“I wouldn’t even be interested in him if he offered himself on silver platter.” 

“Then why are you dancing with him?” She scowled.

“Because I felt like it.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Your older sister,” I said, cooly.

“Don’t you play that game with me. You’re adopted. You’re nothing.” She hissed.

“Is that how you plan to talk to Uncle Loki when he gets here? He was adopted too. But I would be careful. Odin himself said it was a crime to defile the prince’s good name. We’re a family, whether you like it or not, and I am not going anywhere.” She was not going to take away my place ever again. I was fed up with it.

“When did you decide that you could do this to me.” She said enraged. “Come over here and try disturb my life.”

“You invited m-”

“-I don’t know why I ever even bother.” She huffed, before finally let go of my arm. “Just leave.”

“Fine. I’m sure I could find better company elsewhere.” I scoffed.

Gwen opened her mouth to get the last word, but suddenly the massive doors to the hall flew open to the sounds of fanfare. The whole crowd instantly turned our heads to see the rest of the royal party entering. My gaze darted desperately. 

Odin- no- Thor- no- Friga- no- Jane- no- wait-

My breath hitched as I saw the flash of emerald fabric, and the gold. Every other thought melted away but him. He was every inch what I imagined, and even more so. He was disururbingly real now. My heart was beating harder then when we first met. I grabbed Gwen's hand, I don't even know why, and pulled her with me, against her protests, to the front of the crowd. I helplessly looked at him, and for a slit second he looked at me. Our eyes met. I wanted to show a reaction but I couldn't, and neither did he. We just looked. Our gaze felt endangered, as the seconds ticked by before he would have to turn away like a stranger. It was exciting and strange, this deception of ours.


	16. The Maiden’s Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never! Right?? Had fun writing this :)

Another round of fanfare rung out. His eyes flicked away from me, indifferent. The crowd cheered, but all the noise only made it quieter. I could feel the restless gleam and glitter of the crowd, jostling all around me. His armor glistened on his pale skin, and his raven hair curled back from his face attractively. He looked well, with his lifted head above the masses. Dangerously well, when I remembered what he spoke of, when I remembered what was in the back of his mind. Treason. Betrayal. The family that was next to him right now, he would see every one them fall. It hadn’t really sunk in before now, but seeing him with Odin and Friga- Thor and Jane- 

I held my breath for a moment. It was crystal clear. His vision was built for two. It was us, or it was them. 

Thor suddenly broke rank from the royal party, his face ruddy from drink.

“Praise be to the house of Odin!” He shouted, brandishing his hammer in the air, and the crowd erupted into tumultuous applause. 

“Let us sing songs and feast,” Thor declared before turning and smiling broader than I think I had ever seen him do at Loki, “For my brother who was once dead to us is now alive, and we are whole again.”

The crowd cheered even louder in their euphoric, drunken way. Loki smiled back at Thor while stretching his arms open and the two embraced. Odin beamed in his fatherly way, looking at the two of them together again. It would have been touching if the good will wasn’t so one sided.

“Come minstrels, come maidens of song!” Thor declared, slinging his arm over Loki’s shoulder. “Wine! We need wine for me and my brother!” 

Wine was brought, and the music began, loud and boisterous. Loki, with Thor’s arm still hung over him, pushed ahead and entered into the crowd. The crowd parted as they moved into the floor and headed towards the Kingstable that was at the head of the hall, were there was laid a great feast for Odin and his blood. I subtlety began working my way through the people to be at the edge of the pathway that was forming for them. Loki progressed triumphantly, not watching me come closer, just knowing that I was. Finally, I was within five feet of him. His mouth drew into a shadowy smile.

“Brother!” Thor interjected, seeing me in the crowd. “You must meet your niece Ophelia. Come here child.” Thor beckoned to me.

“Of course.” I replied, coming out to meet them, the crystal beading of my dress fracturing the light around me into a pool of white light.

“Ophelia meet your Uncle Loki, Prince of Asgard.”

“Uncle…” I thought, the word feeling strange. 

Timidly, I gazed up at Loki, the deep wells of his eyes were filled with a sense of elation, of beauty and feeling, that could not be escaped from or reasoned with, just experienced.

“Charmed.” He said smiling, taking my hand and kissing it.

It was pure affection, the kind of normal relations of family to one another, but it made me weak inside. The eyes of the crowd were upon us, my father’s too. The desire that lurked behind that touch was hidden, known only by us. This truly was the best of secrets. Softly, he returned my hand.

“Tell me child, where are your sisters?” Thor asked.

I looked behind me into the mass of people that was partying to see that I had abandoned Gwen in my anxiousness to get to Loki’s side. 

“I don’t know. I seem to have lost them. I could look for them-”

“Shhh- do not fret.” Thor said shrugging. “We shall have many more nights like tonight to reunite as family. Come child, sit with us at the Kingstable.”

“Of course, father.” I replied, trying to not let my gaze linger too much on Loki. 

“Ah to be a family!” Thor rejoiced, while storming on ahead into the crowd towards the Kingstable. Loki, however, lingered by my side.

“Allow me,” He said, before taking my arm in his, politely, protectively. Together we walked towards the Kingstable, out of earshot of anyone of relevance. This might be the only chance I had tonight to really talk to him. 

“I-I-“ My voice caught in my throat. 

“Yes.” Loki said tenderly, 

“I hope you do not think me rude, but you are not at all what I had imagined.” I admitted, 

“You imagined me?” He gave a subtle smirk, while waving distantly to the partiers. 

“Well, when Odin said that we had an Uncle, whose likeness I had never seen, of course I imagined something.” 

“Please, humor me-“ He implored, “In what ways am I different?” 

I bit my lip in thought, “I suppose I thought you to be like father in frame and features, but with icy white hair, and I thought perhaps you might have a limp or a scar.”

His expression stiffened. “A physical mark of my previous disgrace.” 

“Or a mark of power and passion.” I tightened my grip on his arm in affirmation. “But I see now that you are marked in no way. You are the perfect image of a faultless prince.”

“Am I?” He laughed somewhat bitterly, 

“I thought that you would be shy- reserved- but you are a natural.” I murmured, as I held onto him as close as I dared. “You belong in front of a crowd.” 

“We’re on dangerous ground.” He whispered as we finally arrived at the small set of steps that led to the Kingstable. “But you know of my weakness for thin ice.” 

I blushed as Loki took my hand, before guiding me up the steps, my dress trailing behind me. Thor had already gotten to his seat and was singing with a bard and drinking. Jane had already arrived too. She was sitting at Thor’s side looking down at Loki, with poorly disguised hatred in her eyes. 

“Loki…” Jane greeted, clutching her wine glass.

“Lady Jane,”

Jane barely acknowledged him as he bowed, instead her gazed roved onto me. 

“Ophelia, come over here for a time.” She commanded, 

“Yes, mother.” 

I left his side and hurried around the table, slipping past the bard and the tipsy noble men that were starting to gather around and make conversation with Thor. As soon as I got within arms reach, Jane grabbed me firmly and pulled me down to sit by her side. 

“Do not get near him again.” She commanded under her breath. Her gaze darted to watch Loki sit down on the other side of Thor. “You hear me.” She said a little quieter.

“Yes.” I replied.

“Do you understand. Do not touch him. Do not speak to him.” It was obvious from her tone that she was afraid- afraid of losing what little was left of her family. But the thing was it was her family, not mine. That’s where my sympathy fell short. 

“Yes.” I said again, “I promise I won’t be near him again.”

She at looked me skeptically, before sighing and kissing me on the cheek. “The Maiden’s Dance is starting soon.” She said soothingly, pointing over to the musicians that were starting to assemble at the far right of the hall. “Why don’t you go over and wait with the other girls, and find the attentions of a nice boy.”

I smiled modestly, “Alright.”

She let go of me and I left the table, not daring to look behind me at Loki or her. After a couple of minutes of fighting through the bog of fancy dresses on the hall floor, I arrived at the other side where the other noble girls were gathered before the dance. It wasn’t hard to see the nervous energy buzzing around them. Nearly everyone had their eyes on someone and now was the chance to prove themselves. Attractive- Graceful- Pure- All the qualities a man would want in a woman of nobility. It was all very transactional, most betrothals, but yet one could hope. Hope that he finds you as lovely as he finds your name and lands. I noticed Gwen and Alexandria out of the corner of my eye. Little did they know that I wouldn’t be dancing to get a man, but that I was dancing for a man.

The musicians finished warming up, and the trumpeter called the hall into silence. 

“Make way!” Cried the trumpeter at the throng, “Make way for the maidens!”

The crowd parted, clearing the floor, and we as a group stepped out into the center of the hall. There was about thirty of us in total, a daughter from nearly every great house. Some girls were anxious, eyes big, hoping to be noticed. Others were veterans or tarts, like Alexandria and Gwen, who didn’t bat an eye at being the center of attention. Either way, at the second calling of the trumpet we lined up like well trained soldiers into three circles, and the cantor began singing the Maiden's Song. 

“True virtue, from tender stem hath sprung,  
The waxing moon, the waning sun,  
A lily in the snow, A lily and a doe,”

From the first note, we began to spin arm in arm with each other, dancing in the circles. Our dresses swooshed behind us, like wings. With every turn, I stole a glance at Loki watching me intently, hungry. The circles broke apart as now we formed intersecting lines while joining along with the cantor.

“Hunter, Hunter, show yourself!” We sung in unison.  
“For in darkness doeth temptation dwell!”

We glided past each other, as the lyre sweetly strummed. 

“Oh Shine for me, I pray that thee,  
Art a righteous man,  
Quiver in your hand, Fresh stem within your grasp,”

With our arms outstretched, we fluttered around the floor. Each of us pivoting in time with one another. Seduction veiled with innocence, with every step he grew more entranced. 

“Summer rays upon the hills, ardently at my heals,  
Oh shall I harken to the call, Of the bays he calls love,”

Our pace now quickened as the music hastened into a crescendo. We weightlessly bounded, like we we’re being perused. Lust, love, it burned in me. I was free. 

“Hunter, Hunter, prove yourself!” We cried again.  
“For in darkness doeth damnation dwell!”

His gaze. His touch. His attention. Every movement was dedicated to him. The circles reformed, as we linked arms once again for closing act of the dance. 

“Garden immaculate, ripe with golden fruit,  
The beating heart, The longing gaze,  
An arrow deftly loosed, An arrow to the root.”

Now captured by love we shuddered, and the circles disbanded. Breathless we paired off into twos, each one mimicking the movements of the other like swans. Softly, the quick tempo of the music faded away into a simple melody. We finished with our hands folded on our chest. I could feel my heart racing through my fingertips. Loki’s eyes held steadfast upon me. It was just him and me, no one else mattered. The cantor sang solo once again.

“True virtue, from tender stem hath sprung,  
The waxing moon, the waning sun,  
A lily in the snow, A lily and a doe,”


	17. The Courtyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Summer break is here and now I have time to continue the series :) I'm so happy!! 
> 
> P.S. If any of you want to the read the story on tumblr rather than here, I have started a blog @moonlit-maiden where I will be posting the story. 
> 
> Thanks for reading~

The rest of the banquet after that point was inconsequential to me. I could careless about the feasting, the relentless music, or the driveling conversations of my family. The only thing that I could think about was Loki. 

He was seated at the head of the table next to Odin, and was currently slowly and sensually sipping his wine. He never directly looked at me, and I never looked directly at him, but I could feel the longing that brewed between us. His twinkling eyes and his soft smile were so beautifully cunning. The hunger that was masked behind his serene face was almost unbearable to me. He had converted me mind, body, and spirit to his side. I could barely sit in my seat in anticipation of his lust.

I wondered if anyone else at the table sensed what was going on under their very noses. I could not help but cross and uncross my legs as images of what would play out later tonight darted through my thoughts. It was a hellish bliss, awaiting him.

Suddenly, after seemingly hours at the feast table the trumpets sounded, announcing that the banquet was technically over. With every fiber of my body I wanted to jump up from the table and sprint to my room to make ready for Loki, but instead of caving in and leaving right then and there, I let a few minutes pass. Gwen had already taken her leave from the table around an hour ago, but Alexandria and everyone else was still seated and in no hurry to leave. If I left too soon, Jane might get even more suspicious, so I either I had to stay until everyone else had had their fill of conversation and drink, or make up a really good excuse. 

I glanced around the table and at the ceiling. Surely there must be a way to leave? I ran my fingers around the rim of my wine chalice in thought, and then it dawned on me, my chalice was empty. I silently giggled at the realization. It was such an easy way out. Assuming a sleepy continence, I rose from the table. 

“Goodnight, mother.” I said, collecting the trail of my dress around me and leaning into kiss Jane on the cheek.

“Leaving so soon?” She asked, arching her eyebrows.

“Yes, I’m afraid I’m not used to all this rich and hearty wine.” I said gesturing to my empty chalice, which I had drained dry more out of impatience than wantonness. 

“Oh…” Jane gave a long suffering sigh, “At least you are prudent enough to know when you have had enough.” 

Almost on cue, Thor at that very moment brandished his ale tankard up to ceiling.  
“More!” He drunkenly cried, smashing his tankard onto the floor of the hall. 

Jane didn’t even bother to grimace at him, but instead gave a painfully stiff smile. “Well,” she said, “best you get along to your chambers now. It will be an early morning tomorrow, as Odin wishes for us all to accompany him and Loki on a hunt to celebrate all of this.” She gestured vaguely around the table in dismay, “For we are family now, and it is as one that we do things, whether we like it or not.”

“I understand.”

“I hope you do. One day soon you will have a family.”

“But this is my family?” I asked in confusion.

“Of course, of course dear, it is.” She replied, with a calm small grin on her face. 

I didn’t like that grin one bit, but I was not anxious to get into anything right now with her. Feigning tiredness, I slowly walked away from the table and into the dispersing crowd of feasters. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Loki was still sitting and talking comfortably with Odin, or least as comfortably as you could if you had been in the dungeons for decades. I knew he noticed me getting up. Hopefully he would leave soon as well, for I felt incomplete without him. 

Quietly, I proceeded to leave the hall, passing through the crowds and exiting out a side door that led into the gardens. It was chilly out and snow had just started to lightly dust the ground. I picked up my skirt so that it would not get dirty as I crossed the gardens to my room. The cold that nipped at me made me think of the night that I first met him. I want to burst out laughing from happiness. I had been but a passenger in my own life until I had met him, and now I felt like I could fly if I wanted to. Dancing with an invisible partner, I twirled along the garden path imaging how life will be from now on. Him and I, as one, against all of them. It was terrifying but even terror has its appeals. 

Just then, as entered the middle of the garden, I heard a muffled noise coming from behind me. I dead stopped in my tracks. The winter wind whistled through the tall shrubbery of the garden, and I heard nothing more except the regular noises of the night. I began walking again, my heels digging in softly into the path, and then I heard the noise again. This time I was certain, someone else was here. 

Carefully, I moved towards where I had heard the noise, taking off my satin shoes to prevent any sound from being created. The snow stung my feet as my heart raced. Was someone following me? Was someone spying on me as I feared? I cupped my hand up to my ear, as the noise sounded again. I furrowed my brow in concern. It sounded like weeping. 

Quickly, I put my shoes back on and hastened to find the sound’s source. I wove through the maze of shrubbery until I arrived at a petite courtyard that was encircled in towering winter rose bushes. The bushes were heavy laden with silvery blooms as, unlike nearly every other plant in the garden, their time to flower was in the frost. It was here that weeping was coming from. Nestled in the roses was a marble bench, and the upon that bench sat Gwen with her hair down and her knees curled up in front of her. She was crying heavily into the crook of her arm, and rocking back and forth. 

I had never seen her like this. It shocked me. Gwen was always the one with the stubborn ideas and strong will. She never gave up, and she most certainty never acted like this, fragile and feeble, unless she had something to gain by such behavior. I could see clearly that whatever this was, that it was very real and very serious. Despite the long brewed hatred that we harbored for each other, I could not help but wish to comfort her. It was an odd desire at best, but it was irresistible; I had to come to her aide. 

“Had she been out here the entire time since she left the banquet table?” I wondered, stepping towards her in compassion. ”Crying in the cold all alone?” I reached out with my hand to tenderly touch her, but as soon as my fingers made contact with her head she jolted back from my touch enraged and disgusted. 

“Get away from me.” She grimaced, her eyes staring up at me hot with emotion. 

“I-I- thought that maybe I could help you.” I said apologetically.

“Haven’t you done enough already?” She bitterly replied, adjusting away from me and averting her gaze to the night sky. 

“I don’t understand. What have I done? You were the one who tried to embarrass me in front of your friends tonight, not I.” I retorted, my sympathies for her beginning to evaporate as they always did. 

Gwen sat for a moment in silence, and then a mirthless laugh filled lungs. “Embarrassment,” she scoffed, “you think that this is honestly about embarrassment? You think that this is about our little petty day to day trifles?” Tears began to swell in her eyes again, she put her hand up to her mouth.

“You know,” Gwen began again, “For being so maddeningly witty, you are so terribly dim.”

“Excuse me?” I answered in indignation. “You are the one. You have always been the one to pick on me. Everyday it was I’m better than you at this and I’m better than you at that- “

“Do you think it matters!” Gwen yelled, before she hanging her head in despair. “None of it matters… I don’t matter.”

“How can you say that? Your mother’s favorite.” 

“And you think she matters?” Gwen whispered bitterly. “She is a mortal, and that makes Alexandria and I half-mortal. Do you know what that means? That means my life at best is half as long as yours, and at worst is just as long as any humans. While you- you will never die. All three of us will be dead before you have gotten your first wrinkle. I will be a princess to the grave, and nothing I ever accomplish will change it.”

Words eluded me. I stood there slightly paralyzed and unsure of what to do or say. Jane’s mortality had always been a subject that no one talked about. In fact, so little had been said about her mortality that I thought for sure that that part of her humanness had been corrected through sorcery. Now I understood, like so many things in our family, the most important details are the ones that are never discussed. My lips pursed in shock. 

“So now you know…” Gwen whimpered “…why none of Alexandria’s suitors have proposed to her, and none of mine to me. It is because they know at the end of the day that they would be marrying a walking corpse. Now you know…” 

Everything made so much sense now. It was Malcolm that had brought this to a head. In him showing interest in me at the banquet and passing her over, he had rubbed salt into an aching wound. The megalomania, the narcissism, the outbursts, the need for control- it all was clear now. Jane and her children were a but a blink of an eye in the greater scheme of things. 

Some part of me became very distraught. I felt hot tears welling in my eye. Why did everything have to have some crushing secret underlying it? Why couldn’t we all have had a happy childhood, with simple tiffs and jests? 

The icy snow that had been falling, slowly tapered off in the sky above, revealing a crystal clear sky. Faint of heart, I sat down next to Gwen. 

“Please,” She murmured brokenly, “let me grieve in peace, and swear never tell mother that I told you about this. It is her greatest bane.” 

“I swear.” I replied, before silently getting up and leaving her in the privacy of the courtyard. I didn't know how to feel about anything anymore. It felt like everything I had ever known in the span of these few days had been shattered and tossed to the wind. What a strange a time it was, walking up to my room, knowing that the family that I had been fighting to fit in with for my whole childhood was really a falsehood. I would be the one that would live. I would be the one to inherit the kingdom. 

Loki... Did he already know this? 


	18. The Wicked King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars." 
> 
> something about this quote spoke to me :)

When I finally arrived at my chambers, I decided to draw myself a bath in the great circular tub. My chambers in total were not much, but the bathroom was glorious. I understood that at one time the tub had been Friga’s Seeing-Mirror, and that she would fill the deep basin in the floor with anointed water to see into the future. I don’t know exactly why the basin had been abandoned and a new one built in the inner sanctum of the temple, but I was thankful for the beautiful tub.

The warm heat of the water bubbling up around me felt glorious. While leaning back onto the wall of the tub, I looked out the window and into the mysterious night sky.

“Was he using me? Did I even care if he was using me?” I sank lower into the water in thought. “Was I really that weak, and he that strong, that I had no voice in his plans?”

I could not deny that it felt lonely here without him. It seemed that in only a short amount of time my attraction had grown to attachment. Even though I didn’t really know what to think or feel, I still knew that at some deep level that we belonged together. In some bigger plan, we were made to be each other’s counterpart, but would love destroy us- destroy me.

I heard the creaking of the door as it swung open behind me. Instantly, I felt his aura invade the room. Reaching around my head, he placed his hands over my eyes.

“Guess who?” He laughed drunkenly, his breath rich with the smell of wine. I could not help but crack a smile.

“Hmmmmm…” I pondered wistfully. “Is it my lover, whose voice drifts like exotic spices through the air?”

“No, ‘tis not him.” He giggled boyishly.

“Well, then it must be my prince.” I grinned. “The one whose hair is softer and more beautiful than silk.”

“’'Tis not him either sweet maid.” He playfully insisted.

I bit my lip. “Then you must be the necromancer, whose is more powerful than anyone in the land.”

“Wrong yet again little one.” He let his hands sweep past my eyes and trail down my face. Smoothly his fingers ran down my neck, before cupping my breasts. “I am the Wicked King who has come from afar to bewitch you and ravish you, like how you should be ravished.” He squeezed, causing me to arch my back.

“Now give us a kiss…” He leaned forward and tilted his face towards me. I planted a sweet kiss right on his sharp jaw.

“You are so delectable,” He moaned. “Thank the Gods that you are at my mercy and not the other way around.” With a mischievous grin he jumped into the tub, clothes and all, creating a large splash. Blissful laughter bubbled up inside me. I could not look at him, so sweet and wild, without melting. Putting my hands around his neck, I drew him close to me. Softly, he rested his forehead on mine.

“I-I want this to last forever.” He whispered.

“Me too.” I replied, meaning it with all my heart.

Tenderly he took me in his arms and held me in the warm water. I felt so safe that I wanted to cry. I don't think that I realized how unprotected I had felt until now. He was a good man. I knew it. Despite all of his plans and ambitions, he wanted what I wanted, to not be alone anymore.

It seemed like an eternity that we stayed there, holding each other. His hands ran softly up and down my back. A sleepy peace filled the room.

“It is okay.” He soothed, his voice suddenly pained with emotion, “We are going to be okay.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, pulling back to see his now troubled expression. The playfulness that had been there only moments before had given way to a deep drunken melancholy. The depths of eyes his glowed with a knowing grief, as if he was already mourning sorrows yet to come.

“I say this because-” He eyes drifted down in thought and in foreboding. “You are going to have to hear horrible things… about me and what I have done… and about us and our love… and about yourself and where you have come from. The answers and the path is not always easy, nor is it always clear, my love. I just never want you to have to question this- question us.”

I searched his face desperately as vulnerability flooded me. He reached up and let his thumb brush my lower lip tenderly.

“I want you to remember tonight, when the horrors of the past come seeping out and pollute everything and everyone. I want you to remember, when they come for us. I want you to remember, when we have to spill blood. I want you to remember, when we have to bury everyone around us.”

A chill shot up my spine as I thought of what Gwen had said earlier that night. He brought me once again into his embrace, and his voice trembled as he spoke.

“I want you to remember that we are okay.”

I sat in silence, processing everything he said, and everything that was bound to happen from us being together. 

"Do not forget," He whispered, as tenderly he lifted me out of the water. "I am the Wicked King, from a strange land. I have wrought things that make grown men tremble. The night is my friend, the rogue is my companion, and the vale witches are my priestesses. Trickery is my crown, and my words run rancid with lies. Such is my nature, and I cannot change it."

"I know." I said as I leaned my head against his chest. 

Dripping wet, he carried me in his arms back to my bedroom and set me on the bed. In a flicker his armor vanished, leaving the both of us naked. He laid down beside me and brought the blanket up from the foot of the bed and covered us.

We didn’t have sex that night, somehow that would have ruined it, broken the spell of whatever was happening. Instead, we just looked at each other in the soft light of the fire that was slowly burning down into embers. We would be vicious, violent, and hungry in the future but now was not the time. As still as the sea before a hurricane we laid together and thought of nothing, except how much we would miss the quiet of tonight.

For the first time he stayed and slept with me till morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Secrets cannot last forever, and now that they are out in the real world how long will it last? Who will be the first to notice? Who will be the first to strike?


	19. Unhappy Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tired!!! sorry if there are mistakes/missing words in this I just felt like posting it!! :)

Grey, pale beams of light poured in through the windows of my room that morning. Quietly, I snuggled closer to Loki’s warmth and he moaned softly in response. He looked so very peaceful beside me, his brow serene and his breath steady and relaxed. 

“Do you not know?” He suddenly whispered, “That it is in bad taste to stare?”

“Everything I do is in bad taste.” I brushed his cheek, admiring the slight stubble that had appeared over night.

Slowly, his eyes blinked open and turned to meet mine. “Did anyone ever tell you that you are far too forward. Here I am a strange man in your bed and you use this opportunity to start a familiarity with me?”

I smiled softly. Everything was almost too good. “Dote on me Loki.” I murmured.

“Is that a command?” He smirked

“…yes…”

“Than I shall not disappoint.” He grasped my hand and kissed each of my fingers, and then he hummed low and thoughtfully. “One day I shall give you a ring for your finger, a neckless for you neck, and a crown for your head.”

I ran my fingers through his hair. “Why promise me tokens? All want is you.”

“What a sentimental babe have I ensnared?” He scoffed, while touching my nose lightly, “You amaze me.” Taking a deep breath, he propped himself up on his elbow and looked out the window from the bed wistfully. “I wonder what we’ll catch today…” He murmured.

“On the hunt you mean?”

“Yes, on the hunt-” He purred, while tilting his head back onto the pillows, “Hounds baying, bows drawn, as we chase down the unsuspecting beasts of the forest. You know-” He said looking back at me again. “I’m rather good shot. We might actually come back with something to grace our table.”

I smiled. I didn’t doubt his skill at all. How thrilling it would be to see him stalk something down and win. Outside we heard the chime of the bells. Dawn had official arrived at the court. 

“You should be off before anyone find us together,” I urged, sitting up in the bed.

“Oh we couldn’t have that!” He scoffed sarcastically, “Imagine what a ruckus that would cause.”

I was enjoying his good mood this morning, but something about the flippancy of that remark stung me. “How can you joke about it?” 

He looked at me silently for a time, assessing my expression, and then his lips pursed. “We must mock the things we dread, lest they get the better of our senses.” 

"Since when you are sensible?" I retorted, somewhat soothed by his answer.

"More often than you think." Lovingly, Loki rolled over and kissed my shoulder.

“Till I see you again sweet.” He cooed, before evaporating out of my bed in a veil of smoke. 

The remains of the morning went by quickly. Yvon came up to my room only moments after Loki left to get me ready. My hair was pleated, and was outfit was on within only a span of fifteen minutes. I amazed at how fast she worked. After giving parting to Yvon, I ran downstairs and grabbed a chunk of breakfast cheese from the kitchen. Eating it as quickly as I could I went down to the stables. 

My sisters were currently being helped onto their horses by the grooms, while both Jane and Thor were already trotting down the pathway towards the forest. They actually looked happy with one another. Both of them were smiling and laughing. With Jane, of course, it could have been good acting, but Thor always wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was in good spirits, and it seemed to have rubbed off on her. Sometimes I forgot that they had at one time been in love. It was strangely sweet. Perhaps, this might turn out to be a fantastic day. A slight spring in my step, I went into the stables and found my horse. 

Neiva was her name, and she was beautiful, with a silver grey coat and deep dark eyes. I thought of all of the times when the impulse to run away on her was almost unbearable. I put my head against hers. 

“We’re not running this time.” I whispered, looking into her eyes. 

I stroked her affectionately before gathering her reigns and leading her out of the stable. With a little jump I swung my leg over her and got on. As I started out, I saw Odin and Friga riding side by side upon their majestic steeds towards Thor and Jane. Odin was carrying his magical horn on his side. I had not often seen it, as it was such a prized possession of his, but I knew of its great power. It would guarantee that whatever living thing we sought, we would find. There was no doubt that we would catch something truly great today. 

I galloped out to join my sisters, who where now safely upon their horses on the gravel path. As I came up beside them, Alexandria gave me a cheerless smile. Gwen did the same. It seemed like it was us now that were distant from each other, instead of our parents. Whatever antics we would usually be up to no longer transpired between us. It was silence. The wind blew by us, filled with the the chill of an on coming snow fall. 

“Odin has his horn with him.” I said.

“Yes, he does.” Replied Alexandria, nodding her head. There was an ugly pause. 

“Maybe,” I began again, “we can feast together once we return.”

“I’m sure father will love that.” Alexandria answered again in the same hollow voice.

I looked at Gwen, as if to say something, but I couldn’t. Her head was hidden so deep in her pretty pink cape that the only thing I could see was the tip of her nose peeking out, and I had no heart to speak to her. She had clearly told Alexandria what had happened last night. I felt crazy, longing for the times when we had hated each other openly like children. This felt like the beginning of the end, and it made me anxious. Where we go from here? Was this what growing up felt like? This in so many ways was not what I had wanted or imagined. Things were not so black and white. I felt a fool for believing they were. I too drew my riding cape down over my face. 

I glanced around. Loki had yet to show anywhere. It concerned me somehow. I didn't like it. He was like an anchor to me or a key, to help me get through all of this. It made me feel incredibly weak to need to him in this way. I needed to be stronger, if not for myself but for him. I knew I had it in me to be willful and bold. I just suppose it was the guilt. The guilt of being the victor in an unfair game. I guess I should have been careful for wishing the tables to turn. The sky swirled, heavy with clouds, above our unhappy company as we came upon our elders.

“There are my finely made maidens!” Thor sang as we approached, his arms open. We all smiled mechanically, before giving a slight bow of our heads to Odin and Friga. 

“How many are we today?” Odin pondered rhetorically. “We should be a group of eight, yet, I only see nine?”

“Ah!” Thor injected. “Loki is busy being fitted with a proper horse. It has been so long you know.”

“Yes, it has.” Jane commented, filling the air with an unspeakably awkward energy. Gwen and Alexandria's eyes laid fixated on the ground, never stirring from it.

There was no mending any of this. I had wanted change for so long and now- and now I was deeply afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is gone a lot.......... astral projection is a powerful thing


	20. The Hunt

After what seemed like a lifetime of uncomfortable silence, a white mare burst forth from the stables. Upon it rode Loki, his emerald cape dancing in the wind. He was a skilled rider, and it showed, as with great ease he maneuvered his horse through the snow towards us. The cool grey light of dawn struck through the clouds of dusty snow that he left in his wake, illuminating them. I could tell even from afar that he was on fire. He lived for this sort of thing. The undying love of the chase was in his blood. The boyish eagerness that shown all over him was divine.

“What a great joy it is to see you riding!” Friga called as she rode up to him, a soft expression on her face.

“Oh mother.” Loki looked shyly at the ground, before casting a brief glance at me. My heart jumped.

Gently, Friga reached up and touched his cheek. At least someone here saw his worth. I looked at the rest of the family. Thor was broadly grinning, with a cheery glow in his eyes, while Jane and company were smiling blankly. What caught my interest the most was Odin’s reaction. He was looking on at their exchange with his cunning eyes and I couldn’t quiet tell, but he seemed cautiously proud of it all. What a fool.

“Hark,” Thor abruptly announced, drawing our attentions back towards the castle, “Ullr is coming with our armaments.”

Ullr with his sack full weapons, rode swiftly on his great skis from the royal armoury towards us. He was Asgard’s most skilled archer and the keeper of the bows. A great sight he was, as he was much wilder than any man of the court, being unkept and a man of the wood. His great tangled silver beard swirled out around him like a cloud of ash. It was odd to see him delivering our bows and not some squire, bizarre even.

"Had he come to see Loki?" I wondered silently. I glanced at Loki and then back at him. A strange feeling crept over me. I was sure that they had know each other- they had to of because of Ullr’s great age- but was he friend or foe?

“Your majesties,” Ullr greeted, his skis whooshing to a halt in front of us. “I hope I have not held up your merriment too long.”

“No, not a bit.” Odin dismissed with a smile, “For what purpose do we owe your company?”

Ullr’s crescent eyes glowed, while he took off his bag. “Well… I have brought something special for the prince.” 

In a swift movement, akin to the unsheathing of a sword, Ullr reached into the depths of his sack and withdrew a bow. It was an elegant long shape, and was the color of bone. We all looked at each other in surprise.

“A fine prince deserves a fine weapon to grace his side.” Ullr said, handing it to Loki.

Loki was awash with joy. He took the bow into his hands and looked down its length.

“Marvelous,” Loki murmured, “Who crafted it that I may give them my thanks.”

Ullr laid silent for a while, assessing us. “The Seekers of the Vale wished you to have it. Tis’ their bow.”

My eyes lit up. I could not help but remember what Loki had told me time and time again about the Vale and its witches. They were his secret priestesses. This bow was surely an offering- a calling card. They were aware of his presence and were actively willing to support him. A nervous flutter rose in my chest as I realized how real Loki's schemes were.

“The Vale?” Odin interjected, his voice stern. “Since when does the Vale pay heed to us? They are nothing but wild folk and illicit witches. They have no use for tribute.”

“Aye, well even though right you be my king, verily that bow did come from the Seekers.” Ullr said his heavy hands folded against his chest. “I received it by a lad of theirs last night. If you do doubt it, check the workmanship, it has the makings of their foreign hands. It is finely hewn and more skillful than ours. More over, it has the silver bow string for which they are known. It is a grand gift from such a people.”

“They are fiends.” Jane scoffed, “Why would they offer anything? Do they expect protection or shelter from winter? Do they want us to provide them with wheat?”

Ullr shook his head. “I cannot answer that. They gave me no reason.”

Loki looked back down at the bow hesitantly, before reaching out to give it back to Ullr. “It is not my place to accept such a gift from such a people as those who lurk in the Vale.”

“Not so quick…” Friga interrupted, putting her hand on the bow. “It is well that we accept it. If it is of importance to them that they bless you in this way, then let them. It is unwise to refuse hospitality, and if the Seekers of the Vale are in need of help than I say we provide it. Unity always leads to a stronger Asgard.”

Odin paused a moment before nodding. “You speak the truth as always my queen. Keep it, and let us rejoice in their benevolence.”

Loki smiled innocently as he tucked the bow over his shoulder. “As you say father.”

My lips pursed a little bit as Ullr busily handed out the rest of the weapons to us. Here Loki was, openly accepting a tribute of allegiance right under their noses, and not even breaking a sweat. Loki gave me a subtle glance out of the corner of his eye. Gods. He was attractive.

“Come now brother!” Thor grinned, stringing his bow. “Let us see if you still can best me at the chase.”

He was better than Thor? Thor was the best hunter in the realm. Loki must not have been joking when he said that he had some skill with the bow.

“Alas, it has been a while. I’m afraid that I may not be what you remember…” Loki smirked.

“Are you trying to decline my challenge?” Thor retorted playfully.

Loki’s smirk grew into a sly smile. “I would never.”

Odin let out a great belly laugh. It was almost startling, as Odin’s laughter was something seldom heard.

“Then my children, let us hunt!” Odin exclaimed, while raising his horn up to the sky. “By the power of the spirits of the hunt,” Odin whispered, “Skaði, I call upon you. May the sound of this horn bring forth the finest stag the forest has to offer.”

He took a deep breath and lowered the horn to his lips. Out came a melodious and piercing call. It struck right through our bodies and sounded out through the forest in front of us. There was a great stir of birds that flew upwards, and the from the earth was summoned the Hunter’s Hounds. That was the power of Odin’s great horn, to call forth the old magic of the hunt. The hounds manifested out the air, ghost like and silvery, much like Loki's shadow magic. Their prowling wolf-like bodies swirled around us in a beautiful pack.

Odin sounded the horn again and suddenly the hounds were filled with alertness. First, one of the hounds began sniffing and then the next and the next. At once their bodies became stiff as the scent of the stag filled their nostrils. Without warning, in a mad spree, all of them rushed forward into the woods.

Odin’s horse was the first to kick off, followed closely by Thor’s and Loki’s. My horse and my sister’s horses rounded out the middle, with Jane and Friga right behind us. It took a while for me to find my pacing, but once I did I surged to the front. Friga came up along beside me, and in no time we were right along aside Odin and Thor. Still in front raced Loki, unrelenting and wild. He was only a few strides behind the hounds, a great feat for any horseman.

Then in the distance, through the maze of trees I saw it. A great stag, such as Odin requested, had been flushed from the wood and was fleeing at top speed in front of us.

Loki’s horse flew forward in pursuit, bounding with great grace over the banks of snow and weaving through the forest. Thor was not that far behind him but his movements lacked the smoothness of Loki’s. The bay of the hounds went before us. My breath fell steadily with the rise and fall of my horse. Everyone else, except Friga, was soon lost in the fray of underbrush. It was just us four now.

Onwards down the slopes and hills of the woods we chased down the stag. The path we took through the forest felt oddly familiar. The more we rode the more it felt like I had been here before. The heart of the forest; we were nearing it. The thicket was so dense that it was difficult to see the hounds any more, much less the buck. Our horses were straining for breath beneath us. Loki with flames in his eyes pushed our pace ever faster.

Just when we had lost sight of the hounds completely, our horses broke free from the wood and we burst forth into a circular clearing. It was the same clearing were I had met Loki. It was where he had showed me his powers. A shiver shot through me as our company came to an abrupt halt.

In the center of the clearing, right where Loki had stood that night, was the majestic stag. His head was turned away from us and his breath was labored. He was alone, and only his tracks could be seen in the fresh fallen snow.

“Where are the hounds?” Thor asked quietly under his breath.

There was a long silence. Something wasn’t right here. From the corner of my eye I could see Loki crack a small grin. A cold sweat broke on my brow. Loki led his horse carefully out into the clearing.

“Loki!” Friga cried, but he held up his hand to quell her.

“What are you up to?” I whispered to myself. My pulse was racing. Was this a trap? Was he going to do something right here and now? My grip on the reins tightened.

Loki was nearly upon the stag now. His horse’s hooves barely made any sound. Carefully he drew his bow. The stag turned his noble head at the slight sound of the bow string releasing. Blood poured out into the snow. Loki had shot the beast right in the heart. With an unsettling thud the stag fell to the ground. Nothing but the distant pounding of horses’ hooves could be heard- Everything else was a silent.

Thor adjusted in his saddle a little. “Odd how the hounds just vanished like that.”

“Yes, very odd.” Echoed Friga.

Loki dismounted, his eyes never straying from the stag’s body. He leaned down and stroked the side of the animal before ripping out the arrow. Thoughtfully he touched the tops of the antlers.

“Every king has his end.” He mused under his breath.

The approaching sounds of the rest of our company filled the air, but still no hounds could be heard. I looked down at the ground and then back at Loki. The glowing pentagram, burning into the midnight snow, flooded into my mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey!! :) a bit plot heavy chapter but I promise smut will come


	21. Green-Eyed Beast

With a charging sound, Odin followed by my sisters and Jane came through the clearing. The hounds were not with them. Friga and Thor looked at each other in an even deeper confusion. With every second the knot in my stomach grew. Odin rode up swiftly to Loki. His eyes ablaze with happiness, apparently unaware of the situation. 

“A true shot!” Odin proclaimed dismounting.

Loki rose from the side of the beast, a smile on his face and a bloody arrow in his hand. Odin roughly embraced him in pride. 

“You flatter me father.” Loki replied, with a mischievous grin. “But Thor could tell you, it was an easy shot. The creature was fatigued.”

“Nonsense!” Odin sang while turning back towards us. “I’m sure it was a well won victory.”

Thor and Friga moved uncomfortably on their horses, the restlessness of unanswered questions in their eyes. 

Odin’s expression changed to one of confusion looking at them. “Is something amiss?” 

Thor leaned forward on his horse uneasily. “Probably nothing father, but the hounds… Well the hounds have not been seen since we came upon this clearing. No tracks. No bays.”

Odin furrowed his brow. “What manner of trickery is this? Are you sure that they vanished before the beast was felled? In what state was the stag when you came upon it?”

I bit my lip. “It was like as Loki has said,” I affirmed. “The stag, worn from chase, stood still there in clearing were it now lays. It made no attempt to run further or even to acknowledge us. In truth the hunt was over once we came upon it. It was a fine shot, but not a difficult one at all.” 

Loki looked vaguely offended, “Well, she does not lie.” He admitted. “There was no fight in the creature. He was a passive target.”

Odin stooped down beside the carcass. “For a stag you make it sound like it had the heart of a sheep.” He stroked the haunches. “A pity really. Perhaps, that is why the hounds left so prematurely, they knew the battle was already won.” His wise old eyes studied the beast once more, absorbing every detail, before he rose and mounted his horse. 

“What say you Friga?” He questioned. “Thou art knowledgeable in the ways of magic.”

She stood silent for a time, her hand on her lips in thought. “I have never known this to happen, but perhaps it is as you say. The stag had given up upon fleeing. We did have no further use for the hounds.”

I glanced at Loki’s expression. He looked just as blissfully confused as all the rest of us. It had been nearly a full week since the night we had met in the woods here. Glancing images of what had transpired filled my senses. Loki surrounded by his green-eyed beasts- and us together- all of it still felt unreal. There had been at least a foot or two of new snow fall since then, surely the ground did not maintain his magic, and yet I wondered.

“Ah,” Odin hummed glibly, “All is well that ends well. The stag will grace our table. That is that.” 

Thor and Friga nodded in confirmation. Loki leaned down, and with his slim strong hands lifted up the stag and slung it over his shoulders. The massive head of the animal swung limp with the weight of its antlers. Loki’s green cape muddied with blood. Hunting never was a clean affair, but the sight of him, eyes simmering and fierce, filled me with fear. I found myself for the first time sympathetic with the stag. There are many types of monsters in the world and I wondered if I hadn’t caught myself one. My own little Valkyrie of death.

Jane who had been silent this whole time opened her mouth to say something, but at the last minute decided not to. A wise choice on her part for I was sure that Loki was not the forgiving type. Whatever was going on- I had the distinct feeling it needed to be smoothed over for Loki’s unseen web to continue to be unseen.

Without much ceremony Loki draped the stag onto the back of his white mare. “Should we seek another or will this suffice for tonight’s feast?” He said eagerly, his boyish charm slowly returning to him.

Odin thumbed at his horn in thought. “Perhaps, my son. Perhaps. What do you think Thor?”

Thor smiled and stroked his chin meditatively. “Some winter hare would be nice. We should carry the stag back first though as hare requires a quick horse.”

“Aye.” Odin replied. “Right you are.”

The snowy sky churned above us as we turned back towards the court. The forest was terribly calm around us. We were the only sound, the only outside presence, for what felt like miles. Indifferent conversation drifted between us as we wandered back the way we came, following our tracks. As we rode I couldn’t seem to stop looking at the dead stag swaying on the back of Loki’s horse. Thought enveloped me. 

Could I really do all that Loki asked of me? Could I really kill?

I felt sick with anxiety when confronted by that question. I closed my eyes and replayed Loki’s words in my head.

_“I want you to remember tonight, when the horrors of the past come seeping out and pollute everything and everyone. I want you to remember, when they come for us. I want you to remember, when we have to spill blood. I want you to remember, when we have to bury everyone around us.” ___

__Stray snow flakes had begun to stick onto the stag’s hide as its body heat extinguished. The head, which was unfortunately facing me swayed blankly. We went over a deep ditch and the force of the bump cause its eyes to loll open for a second. To my instant shock, I saw that the beast had dark green irises. A swimming sensation burned in my head. They were the eyes of Loki’s creatures. We had been led out here. He had orchestrated the whole thing._ _

__Loki, Thor, and Odin were chatting amiably with one another about war, Friga and Jane were singing a folk song, and my sisters were adrift together in silence. Everything was so mundane. The winter wind swelled around us, making the tree shake. My eyes instantly darted, looking all around us, but there was nothing. It was just us, alone out in the wilderness._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *what a turn of events*


	22. Fimbulwinter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Another plot chapter :) 
> 
> plus suggested music if interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4oZZhpMXP4

The storm broke with a vengeance above us, dumping sheets of snow. It had come upon us without warning, and engulfed the sky with its chilly rage. The stinging cold made me shake under my cloak, and made the reigns feel frozen in my grip. I had never known such profound bitterness.

“Winter is such a fickle bitch.” I heard Thor moan, his head tilted down against the wind. 

“True,” Loki yelled over the storm, “Yet the harder the winter, the brighter the spring.”

“Tell that to my feet.” Thor quipped, a sarcastic glint in his eyes. 

Friga chuckled at him from under her gold hood. “When Yule comes to its close the worst storms always appear. Soon enough it will be raining instead of snowing, and we will all hear you morn the winter for its feasts and its abundance of sport.”

Thor shrank into himself. “Sure doesn’t feel like Yule is ending.” 

A gust blew past us, and I was damned if Thor wasn’t right. We were in the final month of the Yule season and nothing had indicated that spring was coming. It had been the coldest winter we had ever had. 

Wiping the ice crystals off of his beard Odin sighed, “Tis nothing but snow my boy.”

Thor gave him a disapproving look, “Tis nothing but the beginnings of a blizzard, and if it does not break soon… Well, you know as well as I that it might be an omen.” We shot concerned glances at each other as he paused in consideration. “Another two or so months of hard winter could be at our doorway. Another two months of frozen lakes, harsh wind, and untillable soil.”

Loki grimaced, “What is it that is concerning you? I refuse to believe that you- Odinson- are really that bereaved over some frost.”

Thor laid silent for a time. He clenched his jaw. “The Vale,” He confessed, his voice troubled.

"Aye," Odin echoed knowingly, "The Vale..."

A grievous silence settled over us. The great trees around us groaned under the weight of the ice on their branches, like creaking bones. With winter came darkness, and with darkness oft came famine. Sickness and death would soon follow like a shadow. The barren cold seemed even more unforgiving now.

We were blinded by the swirling snow, but we moved onwards. Odin was at the head of our company, his great shoulders pressed forward into the wind. Our place was slow, and the journey back home felt endless. Over the tops of trees though, even through the heavy snow, I could slowly see the court coming into view. It’s large shadowy presence loomed in the near distance like a mountain. 

Seeing it gave me a wave of relief. We had nearly made it back safe and sound. There had been no ambush, like how I thought there might be. We had been led out into the wilderness for nothing it seemed. It felt wickedly anticlimactic. But I suppose that was the magic of Loki’s game. Everyone was a tad bit suspicious, I could feel it, but what ground did they have? A strange happening? It would be unwise to point the finger at someone who had been unbalanced so recently- after all it could be nothing… But of course it wasn’t nothing. Loki had them in a corner of sentiment and fear. He was playing the perfect son. There hadn’t been anything that I had seen or heard him do that wasn’t beautifully natural. He was so good at becoming invisible it was terrifying. 

Finally, the trees in front of us broke and we rode out into the court’s clearing. A group of attendants from the stables rode out to greet us with food and drink. The men folk were handed large horns of sweet wine that they drunk in a single drought, and the women were given hot mugs of mead. I felt my blood warm instantly as I chugged the sweet liquid. 

The vitals appeared to fill everyone with good spirits. Loki and Thor were having a good jest with each other as they entered into the stables. They were both alight with laughter, and it filled me with fondness. A flush grew in my cheeks. I would miss this when everything falls apart, even if it was only an illusion of true happiness. 

Friga and I were the last of the company to arrive at the stable. The shelter was warm and welcome. I dismounted, grateful to be home, the calming scent of hay and oats filling my lungs. Friga swept herself off of her horse gracefully, landing next to me with a little wisp of wind. Wrapped in her golden royal cape, Friga walked out of the stables and back out into the storm. She looked up at the raging sky one last time. 

“If this storm does not cease the Vale will starve.” She whispered, her eyes filled with a far away expression. 

The way she said it made me cold inside. 

She drew her hand close to herself, "Surely, it cannot come to that..."

Without another word, she turned and came back inside. She passed me soundlessly and headed for one of the many doorways that were cut into the back wall of the stable, near were they kept the saddles. As she opened the door I could glimpse a long descending passageway behind it, lit only by a single torch. I instantly knew she was heading to Helligsted, her temple that was underground the court. The solid door closed behind her and magically relocked itself. There would be no way I could follow her. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the attendants take away the stag. My gaze could not help but follow it as it was ushered back into the kitchen meat rooms. A sick feeling grew in me. 

“What if everything he has told me was a lie,” I wondered as I watched him next to his brother, apparently the two them enjoying each others company. 

I couldn’t help but be anxious about being left in the dark. I was afraid- afraid of his rage- his love. Deep down, it wasn’t that I distrusted Loki, but it was that I was afraid that he distrusted me. I was as impulsive as he was vague. I would no doubt get punished if I revealed him for the lusty liar he was, but he would lose everything all over again. He might even go the way of the sword. 

I sighed deeply. Perhaps, it was better that I didn’t know of his dealings. I needed to learn to be satisfied with the fact that he was in control- Even if that meant riding out into the middle of the wilderness for “nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to leave questions still unanswered, but I promise there is explanation for everything


	23. Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiii!! After months without uploading I come back with a chapter ;) didn't forget about this story. This one is a bit long and magic heavy...... It full with lots of thoughts and stuff. hope you like and hope things turn out well for them. :)

The storm’s strange blue light cast long shadows in my room. The restless roar of the fire and the wind muted all other sounds. It had been hours and yet the sky still had not cleared. I had seen no more of Loki, nor of anyone else since had arrived home. Everyone had vanished and gone their own ways. So, I had done the same, sequestering myself in my room. 

Rested down in front of the hearth, I had laid listening to the winter winds licking at the window panes for ages. I closed my eyes and I could feel the storm extending for miles around me. The barren womb of Winter was churning with life. 

Opening my eyes once again, I returned to reading Loki’s spell-book. I had been combing it since we had come home, looking for answers or perhaps motives for Loki bringing us out into the wilderness. Words that I had passed over the first time for being “poetic” now burned on the page. 

_“The earth remembers what has been claimed with blood.”_

I sank down into the fur rug. Loki had a flair for the dramatic, that was true, but now as I read it with a more open mind, I began to see his true intentions in this book. Its words were not poetry, but a manifesto, a pathway into how he thought. My fingers ran over the text, as if to soothe it. If only I could see the universe with his eyes, and understand life with his mind. At this point, it felt like I was only seeing shadows of his true form. 

I turned the page, and finally found the section that I had truly been looking for this whole time. It was the section on the Vale. My eyes darted over the spells and runes for something anything. All the spells seemed to have to do with foresight and soothe saying. This I couldn’t say was too surprising. The witches were known to be prophetesses that would read the bones and stars. In the entrails of animals, they saw the world. In a turtle shell was all of time. 

“The Sigil of Majre,” I whispered. This inscription was written in gold ink, separating it from the others. 

_“Draw this sigil on calfskin that has never been out under the bare sky, with the water from within a raven’s eye, and blood from the heart of a man and woman, who have loved each other with all their hearts but never consummated their love; and the sigil is to be drawn with a water rail’s feather. Then myrrh is to be strewn over the entire sigil. When the sigil is dry, go to a spring whose temperature remains constant winter and summer, and over which no bird has flown that day, and strike the water with it, making sure to turn the stave downward. Then let the sigil lie still in the water, while circling the spring four times counter-clockwise. Take the sigil from the water and peek through it, and he who drew the sigil will be able to see, if he wishes, throughout the world, backwards and forwards through the four cardinal directions for centuries.”_

I poured over it fascinated. This was by far one the most intimate and detailed spells in the book. Just then I felt a warm breeze blow over my shoulder, like a summer wind. 

“Enjoying my gift?” Came his voice from behind me. 

I turned around to see Loki appearing in the middle of my bedroom from a fading portal, faint traces gold smoke around him. He smiled happily, but his shoulders and stance told a different story. He seemed very tense, on edge. He peered down and intently studied the page I was looking at. A quick series of expressions darted around on his face before he smirked. 

“Would you like to meet her?” He sighed, sprawling down onto the rug. He smelled like smoke and blood, despite having changed clothes from the hunt.

“Do you mean Majre?” I asked pointing to the sigil. 

“Yes, of course, Majre the Seeker- the Foreteller- the Seerer of Dreams- etcetera etcetera.” He chuckled. He leaned into me. The smell of smoke even was even stronger. It was heady like a pyre. 

“Well, would I love to see her.” I nodded, “When?”

“Soon.” He replied kissing my forehead. “Soon.” 

“The bow? What did it mean?” I smiled.

“It means soon.”

He cupped my face and pressed me onto the floor. His lips met mine desperately. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he put his hands over mine, pushing me further underneath him. Something about how he held me down rather than embracing me, both excited and frightened me. It was different. He was different. Finally, he pulled away from me a suddenly as he had come upon me, anxiety in his eyes. He sat up, curling into himself to watch the fire. I reached out to him and then noticed that ash was all over my fingertip from where I had touched his shoulders. 

“Where have you been?” I asked in earnest.

“I was with Thor.” He replied. “We were drinking.”

I looked at the ground. 

“Did you burn down the tavern?”

“There are things you do not need to know.” 

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I was sure there was a flush in my face. My hands were running back and forth along the soft fur. I glanced back at his still infuriatingly serene and distant face. 

“I saw the eyes of the beast.” I started. 

He looked at me, still and quiet. 

“They were green Loki. _Your_ green.”

He leaned back softly onto the rug. He eyes roved over the fire’s flames. 

“You enticed us out into the forest.”

He silently twirled his fingers and made the flames jump with magic in the hearth. I leaned over into him, looking into his eyes, entreating him to look back. 

“Loki?” I said softly, pleading for him to respond. 

The fire crackled. He drew even further even within himself. My expression sank. Clearly, this was something that I could not cox out of him. I sank back onto to the fur rug, processing my acceptance of this fact. Dutiful. I needed to be dutiful to him. I need to trust him. He disinterestedly pushed and pulled on the flames. I sighed and settled my head down upon his chest tenderly. Quietly, he stopped playing with the fire and started stroking my hair instead. His hands were cool and comforting. It reminded me of the moments when I had yearned for someone to touch me like this. 

“We can kill them all,” He said calmly. 

My breath stopped. His hand continued to glide across my hair uninterrupted. 

“I was not sure until now,” He coldly remarked, “But now I am positive. It is only a question of time and caution, but we can.” 

I closed my eyes and for second, it was like the events of the whole day were rewound, right back to instant we came upon the clearing. The still and motionless air in sky. No hounds. No cries. Him with bloodlust. 

“Why- why must we?” I whispered laying frozen on his chest, underneath his hand. “Why must we kill them?” 

His eyes gleamed. “This is world is sick and we must remedy it.” He fingers danced over my forehead. “Trust me.”

I looked up at him. The conviction on his face shook me to the core. I tried to rise but he stayed me. 

“Hush.” He put his hand on my neck. 

“You are worth more than anything to me right now. Do you understand what I’m saying?” He purred, his gazed locked on mine. “It’s for your own good that you not know.”

I could feel my heart beat pulsing under his feather-light grip. Something indiscernible inside of me wanted him to do it- to grip harder.

“Why Loki?” I asked once more.

He leaned down, his face inches away from mine, the firelight dancing on his pale skin. The small spark in his eyes suddenly erupted into flames, as his fingers came crushing down on me, filled with lust and rage. Fiery heat came rising through my cheeks as I gasped. The pain- it was the pleasure and the agony- that he would never tell me, but always fuck me. Is this what love is? Trapped in his arms my eyes welled with tears. Compulsively, he retreated at the site of my weeping.

Distraught, nearly on the verge of weeping himself, he released me and rose from the floor. Pacing wildly, he strode across my bedroom. 

“The water of womb or wail nary cease to bring men to kneel.” He lamented. 

“Loki…. Loki I-“

“Still your tongue!” He snapped. “Don’t you see that this is to try to protect you? You must not know what I know. I would not wish on my worst foe the things the drive me. Do you want a motive? I cannot give it to you- not for a million worlds- I could not speak it. I could not even give it a name.”

“My love-“

“You love me not if you disobey me.” He scowled, continuing to pace. 

“Disobey? I thought you loved the disobedient?” I scoffed, rising from the floor. 

He stopped in aggravation and ran his hands through his hair. “Damn you that you are not afraid.”

“Afraid of what? Of what I might become if I were to know you fully? How could I be when I admire you so? When I have committed myself to becoming what you are- a God?” 

“Committed means that you trust me.” He spat.

“Well, how can I trust you when I you tell me nothing? Also, you have just lied to me. You were not with Thor. A fool could tell that.” I countered. 

“Committed means that you believe me when I say that there is nothing that I do not tell you that you need to know.”

“Loki what is this even about? Why won’t you let me in? You were so to start. You told me that you were perverse and wicked and I took you in any way what is so wrong that you would be so afraid to let me know? Are you afraid that I will reveal you? Is that it? Do you not trust me?”

“You were hurt!” He burst. “I hurt you. You almost died. I do not care if you were willing to die. I am not willing to let you die. Telling you of my perspective on the world is inviting you into my world of pain. And telling you of my plans before they come to fruition would do nothing but make you into more of a target. I cannot do either of those things to you.”

“But Loki,” I entreated, ”I want to be of use to you. How can I be of use to you if I do not know where we are going or how we are getting there?”

“You help me enough as it is, my love.” He sighed emptily, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He gave a hollow smile.

“You know that is a lie,” I replied. His smile degraded. “You know as well as I- we are meant to do things together. Everything together as a pair.”

Bringing his hands together he looked into the fire again. The anger that he had had was washed away with despair. He cupped his head in hands and sat there a while in silence. 

“Do you ever wonder who governs us?” He murmured after a long time. His voice was muffled with pain. “We say that we are the gods- That we are the ones who set forth the universe’s wonder and yet who has wrought us? Who put us on our path and separated the damned form the blessed?”

He got up and looked up at me, his eyes red. “Who has made me who am I, and who has made you- my love- my dear- as you are. Alas, if we are all gods then who is above us that we may ascribe our actions and purpose.” He lips and body shook at the word purpose. He leaned over the footboard, clenching it with his hands. A great weight seemed to be impressed upon his shoulders. He gritted his teeth in remorse and misery. “As much as I despair that there is no true god, I mourn that he is a cruel one- no other would look upon the universe as it is and let it flourish.” 

I walked over to him quietly, and gently touched the small of his back. 

“If the universe shouldn’t flourish then what should it do?” I asked

He smiled vaguely. I could feel the thoughts clouding his mind. 

“The universe is not understanding- the only hope we have to change it is to make it understand us- by force if necessary.”

“By killing them,” I whispered. 

“Aye," He turned to look at me, "To bring balance- To destroy their ideology- To condemn their false idea of Gods.”

“How can we do all of that?” I wondered.

“The pentagram.” He replied. “Not single one of Odin’s hound strayed into it. We are ten times more powerful than he can even imagine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is an edge lord. But a beautiful edge lord. Anyone wondering what is cause all this angst give you a ,,,,,, hint,,,,,, 
> 
>  
> 
> (it might have something to do with being locked in a dungeon for years while your mind floated in space and your head was flooded with the voice of a literal much more powerful being.)
> 
> so,,,,,, yeah asgards powerstucture is complete bs. made up for them dominate other world by saying worship me.


	24. Ghost

“So- the hunt was a test- a test of your strength.” I murmured. 

He nodded. “I refuse to fail again in my endeavors. I have waited too long for this moment to come. I needed to be sure that if a crisis came I could protect myself from Odin. I learned Heimdall's, Friga’s, and even Thor’s weakness over my long time in the dungeon. The only part missing- that I required certainty of- was Odin’s. I had underestimated him before, but never again shall I. Now I can rest easy, with the knowledge that I am the master, not he. And together, I believe that we shall be unstoppable.” 

He took both of my hands and kissed them fervently, like a blessing.

“You are beyond anything I thought I could ever grasp.” He admitted, in passion and tenderness. 

I had worried that in pushing him as I had, that he would push me away. Instead, I had succeeded in unearthing an even deeper part of him. The vulnerability with which he now touched me and looked at me was unmatched. We were closer now than ever before. I could sense it as he wrapped his arms around me.

“My companion.” He whispered as he snuggled into the crook of my neck. “Scorn me, as I have been a fool to hide from you.” 

“An endearing fool,” I replied. 

He gave a muffled chuckle, as he planted a shower of kisses up and down my chest a neck. It was enough to make me tremble. His hands moved down and grabbed me by the thighs. He desperately hiked up my dress, so his hands could touch my skin. From the bulge pressing against my stomach, I could tell that he was aching to have me. He pushed into to me longingly. I reached down and stroked him through his pants. He closed his eyes and leaned back in pleasure, moaning through his teeth.

“No, not like this again.” He suddenly whispered, reaching down and stopping my hand.

“What?” I looked at him in confusion, a swell of dread in my stomach. “What do you mean not like this?” 

He paused for a moment, my hand still in his. “As long as we are continuing on this path of honesty,” He said, “I shall tell you. We have never actually slept together.”

“Don’t be mad? Of course, we have!” I cried, pulling back in surprise. 

“No, we have not.” He stated firmly, “Only figments have you ever seen of me. Never flesh and blood. You have never in truth laid eyes upon me, nor I you.”

I struggled to breathe, “Are you telling me I have fallen in love- gave myself to- a ghost? An apparition?”

“No- No- No- I am not a ghost.” Loki hurried to correct. “Just not present. I have many ‘faces.’ Just not real ones.” 

I struggled to look at him with this revelation burning in my head. He moved towards me and cupped my face. 

“I need an explanation, Loki.” I whimpered, somewhat shying away from his touch. 

His eyes cast to the floor. “Aye- you do, but it is simple my dear. This figment is a projection of my consciousness. What this form sees I see, and what it feels I feel. I can be everywhere.”

“Except here.” I countered, somewhat hastily as the sting was still fresh. 

His expression turned dejected but still loving. “I am sorry if I have upset you, but it was for your safety as well as mine, not to mention the practicality of the situation. How do you think I saw you when I was still in the dungeons?” 

“I- I- do not know.” I stammered. 

“Tis’ simple.” He soothed, “A wall cannot trap the spirit and nor can Heimdall perceive what happens beyond the physical. That was his weakness, and therefore the weakness of all of Asgard.” He moved closer to me again. “But I cannot stand it any longer. I must see you- have you- in its complete form. Now that I know my magic cannot even be penetrated by Odin himself, I feel it safe enough for us to meet.”

I looked up at his simmering eyes in understanding. If anything, I supposed that this was proof of his true feelings, since he was this careful in approaching me. 

“Tell me this then Loki- if this is just a projection why does it have soot? And if Heimdall cannot see you- isn’t he suspicious that Loki, the redeemed prince, is nowhere to be seen in the court?”

He sighed deeply in understanding sympathy. “I was once multitudes, with many different shapes and forms, but as I emerged from the dungeon I needed to focus my powers to not only mask my true presence but to create a fake physical one. From dozens of pairs of eyes, I am now only three. Two projections, one a spirit and the other posing as flesh, and then true myself cloaked in the shadows. Why you see soot upon me is simply because three cannot do the work of thirty, without assuming vaster roles.”

I stood in ever-growing amazement of his craftiness and skill. Before I knew it, I had already asked. “How can I learn this power too?” 

“I will have to present you to Marje.” He answered quietly, “She is the one that taught me. And she perhaps is the only who can fix your severed spirit- for I know now that I am too impulsive and chaotic of a soul to mend anything, especially something as delicate as you.” 

He grasped a strand of my hair gently. I could see the lingering guilt in his eyes, but even more, I could see his determination to make things right between. To put us on the same page, right beside one another. 

“Before we go to her- now that I know that I have never seen you- I must see you first,” I said while leaning into his embrace.

He laughed softly. “In that regard, we can kill two birds with one stone, for you see I am in the vale.”

My eyes lit up in surprise. 

“I traveled there from Jotunhiem as soon as I received the bow.” He smiled while running his hand down my neck. “Marje will protect you from Heimdall's eyes while we are there together, and I will ensure your presence here is not missed.” A twinkle in his eye, he snapped his fingers and a swirling pentagram flickered on the floor. 

I jumped as I saw myself appear asleep in the bed. It was just as real as if I was looking into the mirror. 

“Wonders never cease to come from your fingers.” I praised,

“Quickly, we must go.” He commanded gathering me up in his arms, wedding style. “To unite with you will be the most bliss I could hope for.” 

Lightning sparks swirled around his feet, and in the now familiar feeling blast of thunder, we vanished from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to go where the action is ;)


End file.
